Timothy Jones

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Give him religion and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
~ Timothy Jones

Steiff Petsy Record 1928 Replica 1996

Steiff Record Petsy Bear on riding toy, LE 4000

EAN:407468


First Year:1996(production)
Last Year: 1996
Material:Mohair
Inches:9
Centimeters:25
Box:Yes
Certificate:Yes

Steiff Teddy Bear Minature Replica 1908, Red, Jointed

 

 

 

EAN:029226

First Year:1993
Last Year:2001
Material:Mohair
Inches:6
Centimeters:16
Box:No
Certificate:No
Jointed: Yes
Body Color: Red

Steiff Margaret Strong White Bear

 

 

EAN:0158/25

First Year:1985

 Last Year:1988

 Material:Mohair

 Inches:10

 Centimeters:26

 Box:No

Certificate:No

Steiff Dormili Rabbit, Sitting

Very nice Steiff  rabbit  made in germany.
He is  8"  tall (without ears) ,11" long and so adorable.
Very soft fur.

He comes complete with his Steiff button,yellow tag and chest tag.

The  big  eyes  (3/4") are clear and free from any scratches.
Dormy  is in  unplayed  condition and comes from a smoke free home.
EAN:2975/25

First Year:1985

Last Year:1995

Material:Woven Fur

Inches:9

Centimeters:25

Box:No

Certificate:No

Steiff Mother`s Day Teddy Bear. Holding Flowers, Has Gift Card

 

 

Such a nice bear!  She stands 8 inches tall, pure mohair, so soft!  Fully jointed hips and shoulders, she is holding a bouquet of roses and has "thank you" on her left foot, orignally intended for Mother's day 2000, she has her original "Wichtige Informationen" tags attached, her ear tag that identifies her as Made in Germany by Steiff, she comes complete with her stand, a very pretty bear!

 

EAN:028137

First Year:2000

 

 Last Year:2000

Material:Mohair

 

Inches:8

 

 Centimeters:21

 

Box:No

 

 Certificate:No

Vibrator

A bloke is sat at a bar when he sees this gorgeous woman waiting for her date. He decides to go over and chat her up.

'I think you're wasting your time, I'm only interested in women' said the woman.

'Oh come on, I bet I can change your mind' said the bloke. After ten minutes of the bloke pestering her, she had had enough.

'OK' said the woman 'I'll sleep with you if you can do anything for me that my vibrator can't!'

'OK, barman get this lady a drink' he said. 'let's see your vibrator do that?'

Steiff Special Edition 1993 ILTBC-Gold 1909 -9" Teddy Bear

 

 

1993 Special edition I.L.T.B.C. 1909 Gold Mohair Steiff Teddy Bear

9" Teddy Bear
Jointed with black eyes
with tag and button

 

 

 

Dirty Jokes

A young woman took her troubles to a psychiatrist. "Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date a nice guy, I end up in bed with him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week."

"I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter."

"For God's sake, NO!" exclaimed the woman. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward."

Dirty Joke about Little Billy

Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?"

His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."

"Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"

"What do you mean?" said Dad.

"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"

Sex Questions and Answers

What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
They can both smell it but can't eat it.

How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing and gargling.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

What should you do if you girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use a lubricant.

What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
Money.
What's the definition of a male chauvinist pig?
A man who hates every bone in a woman's body, except his own.

Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

What do blondes and the Bermuda triangle have in common?
They've both swallowed a lot of semen.

How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?
It's not hard.

Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
She is the one who can eat the last donut!

What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping Tom?
A pick pocket snatches watches.

Drowning A Bee

One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. The woman started screaming, "Oh my god, help me, there's a bee in my vagina!".

The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation. The doctor thought for a moment and said, "Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit".

The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife's vagina. The doctor said "OK, what I'm gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my penis and insert it into your wife's vagina. When I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my dick I shall withdraw it and the bee should hopefully follow my penis out of your wife's vagina."

The husband nodded and gave his approval. The young lady said "Yes, yes, whatever, just get on with it."

So the doctor, after covering the tip of his penis with honey, inserted it into the young lady's vagina. After a few gentle strokes, the doctor said, "I don't think the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper".

So the doctor went deeper and deeper. After a while the doctor began shafting the young lady very hard indeed. The young lady began to quiver with excitement, she began to moan and groan aloud, "Oh doctor, doctor!" she shouted. The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was enjoying himself.

He then put his hands on the young lady's breasts and started making loud noises.

The husband, at this point, suddenly became very annoyed and shouted. "Now wait a minute, what the hell do you think you're doing?!" he blasted.

The doctor, still concentrating, replied: "Change of plan, I'm gonna drown the bastard!!"

I like your thinking

One day in class the teacher brought a bag full of fruit. "Now class, I'm going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of fruit, and you tell what fruit I'm talking about. Okay, first: it's round, plumb and red."

Of course, Johnny raised his hand high, but the teacher, wisely ignored him and picked Deborah, who promptly answered "An apple." The teacher replied, "No Deborah, it's a beet, but I like your thinking." Now for the second. It's soft, fuzzy, and colored red and brownish."

Well, Johnny is hopping up and down in his seat trying to get the teacher to call on him. But she skips him again and calls on Billy. "Is it a peach?" Billy asks. "No, Billy, I'm afraid it's a potato. But I like your thinking," the teacher replies. Here's another: it's long, yellow, and fairly hard."

By now Johnny is about to explode as he waves his hand frantically. The teacher skips him again and calls on Sally. "A banana," she says. "No," the teacher replies, "it's a squash, but I like your thinking."

Johnny is kind of irritated now, so he speaks up loudly. "Hey, I've got one for you teacher; let me put my hand in my pocket. Okay, I've got it: it's round, hard, and it got a head on it." "Johnny!" she cries. "That's disgusting!" "Nope," answers Johnny, "it's a quarter, but I like your thinking!"

Three Died Because of A Woman.

It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died."

The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, and I died."

St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in.

He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!"

St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job.

"Tell me about the day you died?", he said to the third man in line.

"OK, picture this, I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...."

Two married buddies

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?' ... and she's always sound asleep."

House Rules

A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules. "I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?" His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."

Dirty jokes

Two old people, a man and a woman, walk into a hospital. The doctor says to the old man, "I'll need a urine sample, a feces sample, and a blood sample." The old man says, "What?" So the doctor says it again. Once again the old man says, "what?" So the doctor yells it, "I NEED A URINE SAMPLE, A FECES SAMPLE, AND A BLOOD SAMPLE!" With that the old woman turns to the old man and says, "He needs a pair of your underwear!"

Be Observant

A lecturer teaching medicine was giving a classoom observation. He took out a jar of yellow liquid. "This," he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant of color, smell, sight, and taste."

After saying so, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched in amazement, most in disgust. But being the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped their finger into the jar and put it into their mouths.

After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head. "If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my second finger into the jar and my third finger into my mouth."

Steiff Fiep Gray Mouse

STEIFF MADE GERMANY MOUSE "FIEP" KNOPF IM OHR 056253..

MISSING NOSE...

GOOD COLOR GOOD FUR,,WHITE BELLY...

I wish I had bigger tits

A couple were in their bedroom and the girl says to her boyfriend, 'I wish I had bigger tits'. The boyfriend says 'well what I recommend is to get some toilet tissue and rub it between your tits for 2 months'. 'How will that help to make my tits bigger?' asks the girlfriend.
'Well it worked for your ass' says the boyfriend.

Steiff Dog Snuffi Hund 16 077333 With Tags 16 cm

Steiff Dog Snuffi Hund 16 077333 With Tags 16 cm (approx. 6"). No tears or stains. Excellent condition.

LIMITED EDITION 2152 of only 5000 - Steiff Teddy Bear 1997 "SPRING FLOWER"

So very soft and sweet "Spring Flower"

This beautiful bear stands 13" tall to the top of his hat

I love the lime green color

LIMITED EDITION 2152/5000

He is very clean-never played with. He has been in a hutch sense purchase in Germany in 1997

So he's about to turn sweet 16 this Spring.

NO STAINS - NO RIPS - NO HOLES

PERFECT EAR TAG (I forgot to take a picture of the back side of the tag-if you need to see,

I can take one-just send me a message :-) It says:

L. ED.

5,000 pcs.

Springflower

02152

C E on right side of tag

(gold colored rivet with Steiff imprinted on it holds the tag to the ear

Fabulous little Steiff Cosy Peky with Silver button, tag and medallion

Your looking at the the most adorable little Steiff short haired Pekinese Dog who is in immaculate condition so much so that his ears are still sllip stitched down (as made) ....
.Steiff Cosy Peky Pekinese 5070/20 full IDS.

Made by Steiff in Germany
Made of the highest quality dralon in a sandy cream and white with a darker muzzle.
This Steiff has been produced partly by hand
from original patterns, using the finest natural materials.
All bears & animals with the button in ear
have been made by hand with loving care.
Another secret of Steiff success is the bear & animal,
unique and inimitable expression.

Indeed is a typical Steiff expression! He has Black and white Plastic eyes and a stitched nose. his mouth is on a seam line and has the faintest hint of a little tongue.
He was born between 1968 and 1978... he does not look his age! He is sitting down and measures 8in/20cm tall and 9in/23cm from chest to tip of tail.This little dog would be a great addition to any Steiff animal collection.... go on grab a bargain! he has a low starting price to ensure a quick sale. Thanks for looking and please take a moment to look at my other items for sale.

This is a jointed ceramic teddy by Steiff and Enesco, as can be seen.

This is in really very good condition and comes with its original box, but there is no pewter miniature present.

Steiff Classic

Steiff Classic Bär 25 cm EAN 000423 aus einer Sammlungsauflösung der Bär wurde nur in einem Karton gelagert, aus einem tierfreien Nichtraucherhaushalt komplett mit allen Anhängern, siehe Scan !

nice Teddy from Steiff Classic Bear unused, no smoking and no animals at home, with all buttons