Tew Nai Tong's Last Solo Exibition From 18 Jan 2013 to 2 February 2013.

The last solo exibition of Tew Nai Tong is called "Glories" which was held in Pinkguy Gallery from 18-1-2013 to 2-2-2013.

Below were the 27 paintings displayed in the exibition.

Beautiful SunSet

Tew Nai Tong on Died 4-5-2013

A Top 10 of Malaysia’s survey of the crème de la crème of Malaysian painters

Painters Extraordinaire

The Malaysian Hall of Fame

A Top 10 of Malaysia’s survey of the crème de la crème of Malaysian painters - Capturing the works of the early generation of Malaysian artists (some of whom are deceased) to present day painters, their artistic approaches used and the genres they represented.
DATO’ CHUAH THEAN TENG (1912 - 2008)
Born in China, Malaysia’s Father of Batik Painting started in this medium in 1953. His self-portrait in batik, produced in 1955, represented the turning point in his artistic career. In 1959, he became the first artist to be sponsored by the Malaysian Government for an exhibition abroad, at the Royal Commonwealth Institute in London, where he had his solo show. His paintings, Two Of A Kind and Tell You A Secret, were honoured by the United Nations International Children’s Fund (UNICEF) in 1968 and 1988 respectively for its greeting card selections. Teng, as he is popularly known, was awarded an AMN medal by the Yang di-Pertuan Agong in 1974 for his art contributions. He was the only Malaysian invited to the Commonwealth Artists of Fame Exhibition in England in 1977. In 2005, he was honoured with Penang Heritage Trust’s Living Heritage Award. 1968 - Musim Buah
DATO’ MOHD HOESSEIN ENAS (1924 - 1995)
The Father of Malaysian Portrait Painting, who hailed from Bogor, Indonesia, was largely self-taught. His mastery of the European realist portraiture saw him painting portraits of several Sultans and Malaysian royalty. He was conferred the title of Royal Portrait Painter by the Sultan of Selangor in 1990 and awarded a ‘Datukship’ the following year.Enas founded the Peninsular Artists Force in 1956, which was dedicated to depicting the Malay ideal of beauty and character. He was its first President. The figurative artist received the UNESCO Fellowship and Asia Foundation grant for a year's study tour round the world in 1960 to observe art development.He was a member of Fellow Royal Society of Arts, London, member of Board of Trustees and former Head of Design and Staging Services, Radio and Television Malaysia. 1951 - Sukiyaki

DATUK SYED AHMAD JAMAL (1929 - 2011)
This 1995 National Art Laureate has contributed towards Malaysian art not only in his teachings but also in his writing and position as art curator and director of the Malaysian National Art Gallery. The Bait, produced by him in 1959, was very much ahead of its time. Deemed the first fully abstract and non-objective painting, it signalled the start of abstract expressionism in Malaysia, whose impact was seen during the 60s and thereafter. 1999 - Semangat Ledang
ABDUL LATIFF MOHIDIN (1938 -)
Influenced by German Expressionism, his early works belong to the Pago-Pago series, for which he is famous. He is also an accomplished print-maker and poet. His woodcut printing skills were mastered while he was in Germany. He has published several anthologies of his poems in Malay. 1964 - Pago-Pago
TEW NAI TONG (1936 - )
Highly versatile in various mediums, the distinctive works of this prolific artist, totalling over 2,000 pieces, span five decades. His Nanyang style, comprises Balinese-Sarawakian figure types and Chinese painting traditions, honed by his natural talen and art education in Singapore and Paris, as well as travels to Bali and Paris, to conduct research of his artworks.Tew bagged the grand prize of the Asia Art Award 2009 at the Asia Invitation Art Exhibition in Seoul, Korea. He is the founder and president of the Watercolour Society of Malaysia. 1960 - A Golden Era
DATUK IBRAHIM HUSSEIN (1936 - 2009)
He founded the non-profit Ibrahim Hussein Museum and Cultural Foundation in Langkawi, which is dedicated to the promotion, development and advancement of art and culture. He devised his main medium, printage, which combines printing and collage. His 1969 acrylic painting on canvas, The Dream, is the most expensive Malaysian artwork sold in a public auction, fetching RM500,500, inclusive of the 10% buyer’s premium, at the art auction held by Henry Butcher Art Auctioneers Sdn Bhd in 2010. 1960 - Manja
AHMAD AZHARI MOHD NOOR (1955 - 2006)
Also known as Jehri Azhari, Malaysia’s self taught pop artist was devoted to the sixties trend which saw ordinary images and items of popular culture transformed into works of art. In his Revolution installation, he painted bottles in vibrant pop colours with alphabets that read “revolution”. Using printage and assemblage techniques, he would use old magazines and transfer the original prints and images onto canvas, thus making them appear "mirror-imaged". The title for his artworks is often picked from the printages. His famous paintings include Malaysia’s first Prime Minister Tunku Abdul Rahman and football legend Mokhtar Dahari, which are in the National Art Gallery’s private collection. Jehri received an honourable mention in the Phillip Morris Art Award in 1995. He did eight solo exhibitions and various group shows in Southeast Asia before cancer took his life. 1997 - Dali's Moustache
REDZA PIYADASA (1939 - 2007)
A renowned fine artist from Kuantan, his works encircle around the fusion of art and history. Redza obtained his Diploma in Art and Design from Hornsey College of Art in England in 1963. He did his Masters in Fine Arts at the University of Hawaii’s Art Department in 1997, majoring in Asian Art History Studies and Graduate Sculpture Studies. Redza is a recipient of the Prince Claus Award. 1990 - The Haji Family
LEE KIAN SENG (1948 - )
Malaysia’s progenitor or Father of Installation Art had his first one-man show in 1966 at the age 18. Among his award-winning installation works is Process in Poker Playing, a mixed media at the second Young Contemporaries Exhibition in 1975.He is one of the local batik titans inspired by Dato’ Chuah Thean Teng’s innovation in batik art. Recognised for his achievements in sculpture, Kian Seng represented Malaysia at the ASEAN Square Sculpture Symposium in Jakarta in 1984. 1979 - Test-Tube Baby
YUSOF GHANI (1950 - )
This celebrated fine artist’s works are mostly in acrylic and water colour. They feature Southeast Asian motifs with an abstract expressionist approach. His works include Tari (Dance), Topeng (Mask), Wayang (Theatre), Hijau (Green), Segerak (A Movement), Biring (Fighting Cockerels) and Wajah (Faces). Yusof received a grant to study graphic arts at George Mason University, Virginia, in 1979 but transited to fine arts. He received Dr Burt Amanda Scholarship for being the most outstanding art student. He had received the Most Creative Award for his art project. Yusof graduated with a Bachelor in Fine Art (Graphic Art) in 1981.He obtained his Masters in Fine Arts (Painting) at Catholic University in Washington DC in 1983 and held his first solo exhibition in this city before returning to Malaysia. Yusof represented the country at the Contemporary Paintings of Malaysia exhibition at the Los Angeles Pacific/Asia Museum in 1988. 2008 - Wajah II

http://top10malaysia.com/home/index.php/news-and-events/painters-extraordinaire/#

SunSet on 25-4-2013

Beautiful SunSet On 17 April 2013

"No man can always be right. So the struggle is to do one's best, to keep the brain and conscience clear, never be swayed by unworthy motives or inconsequential reasons, but to strive to unearth the basic factors involved, then do one's duty."

 Dwight D. Eisenhower

"When you have a number of disagreeable duties to perform, always do the most disagreeable first." Josiah Quincy

Steiff Bear - Name Lizzy -EAN111617

"You grow up the day you have your first real laugh--at yourself." Ethel Barrymore

Word Of Wisdom

What The Government Now Was What You Voted Yesterday.

What You Vote Now(In GE13) Will Be The Government Of The Future.

So Vote Wisely and DO Not Regret Later.

Blueberries and strawberries could cut heart attack risk in women: research

Eating strawberries and blueberries three or more times a week may help women cut their risk of a heart attack by a third, according to new research.

Women who eat the most blueberries and strawberries appeat to have a 32 per cent reduction in their risk of heart attack Photo: GETTY

By Rachael Stubbins

7:30AM GMT 15 Jan 2013

The berries contain relatively high levels of plant compounds called dietary flavonoids, which are found in a variety of foods including dark chocolate, grapes, red wine, blackberries and eggplant.

According to the study, dietary flavonoids may prevent heart disease by helping to dilate blood vessels and by countering the build-up of plaque which can cause blockages in the coronary arteries and, ultimately, heart attacks.

The researchers found that women who ate the most blueberries and strawberries had a 32 per cent reduction in their risk of heart attack compared to those whose intake was limited to once a month or less – regardless of whether they had an otherwise nutritious diet.

Professor Eric Rimm, whose findings appear in the journal Circulation, said: "Blueberries and strawberries can easily be incorporated into what women eat every week. This simple dietary change could have a significant impact on prevention efforts."

Since these dietary flavonoids are very common in fruit and vegetables, it is likely that other foods will yield similar health benefits, he said.

The study included 93,600 women aged between 25 and 42.
"We have shown that even at an early age, eating more of these fruits may reduce risk of a heart attack later in life," said Professor Aedín Cassidy, co-author of the study.
The findings were independent of risk factors such as age, high blood pressure, family history of heart attack, weight, exercise, smoking, caffeine or alcohol intake.

The top 10 stupidest animals

10: Sharks
Sharks only swim around and eat stuff. They're pretty good at it though.

9: Ants
Ants work almost all the time and are way too stupid to ask for a raise. How stupid isn't that?

8: Polar bear
You know, there are seals in much warmer and nicer places! Well, you don't know because you're a stupid bear!

7: Dogs
Dogs either obey humans or do something stupid. Nothing smart in those barking beasts.

6: Lemmings (Lemmus lemmus)
If everyone else jumps out of the cliff, it's probably a good idea, the lemmings think.

5: Foxes
Running around in the forest and looking smart is not smart! It just makes noblemen want to hunt you. Act cute and stupid and you would have been on place 7 on this list instead.

4: Cows
Cows are extremely smart and have solved all the world's problems. They have even made themselves tasty so that humans make more of them. Unfortunately their last invention was making themselves extremely empty-headed (probably in the part of the "getting tasty" process as brain isn't that tasty and there is a shortage om zombies these days).

3: Dragons
Have you ever seen a dragon? I guess not, because they got extinct and that is the most stupid thing you can do.

2: Dolphins
Just like teenagers they only swim around and have fun instead of building stuff that can kill. It works well as long as humans think they are cute and want to have sex with them, but it's not smart.


And the stupidest animal on Earth is:

Humans(Those who know that the BN led- government which is racist, corrupted, bias, arrogant and fanatics and still vote and support them in the election but bitch about it later)

Why sex is a 'better headache cure rather than painkillers'

Sex appears to be a cure for headaches, researchers have suggested.

Sex triggered the release of endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers, via the central nervous system, which reduced, or even eliminated, a headache. Photo: ALAMY

By Andrew Hough

6:30AM GMT 04 Mar 2013

A team of neurologists found that sexual activity can lead to “partial or complete relief” of head pain in some migraines.

The study, from the University of Munster, Germany, suggests that instead of using a sore head as an excuse to refuse sex, making love can be more effective than taking painkillers.

Their research, reported in Cephalalgia, the journal of the International Headache Society, found that more than half of migraine sufferers who had sex during an episode experienced an improvement in symptoms.

One in five patients left without any pain at all, while others, in particular male sufferers “even used sexual activity as a therapeutic tool”, they added.

They suggested that sex triggered the release of endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers, through the central nervous system, which can in turn reduce, or even eliminate, a headache.

“The majority of patients with migraine or cluster headache do not have sexual activity during headache attacks,” the study concluded.

 

“Our data suggest, however, that sexual activity can lead to partial or complete relief of headache in some migraine and a few cluster headache patients.
“Our results show that sexual activity during a migraine attack might relieve or even stop an attack in some cases, and that sexual activity in the presence of headache is not an unusual behaviour.”
They added: “Sex can abort migraine and cluster headache attacks, and sexual activity is used by some patients as acute headache treatment.”
In their research, titled “The impact of sexual activity on idiopathic headaches: An observational study”, the team of neurologists investigated whether sex can trigger headaches.
They also wanted to establish whether there was any substance to anecdotal suggestions that it could actually ease symptoms of migraine and cluster, also known as one-sided, headaches.
An anonymous questionnaire was sent to 800 random migraine patients and 200 similar cluster headache sufferers.
They asked for experience with sexual activity during a headache attack and its impact on headache intensity.
More than a third of migraine patients had experience with sexual activity during an attack and out of these patients, almost two in three reported an “improvement of their migraine attack”.
Almost three in four reported moderate to complete relief and a third reported it worsening.
Those suffering a cluster headache, almost a third had experience with sexual activity, with 37 per cent reporting an improvement to their condition. More than 90 per cent reported moderate to complete relief while 50 reported worsening.
The researchers added: “Some patients, in particular male migraine patients, even used sexual activity as a therapeutic tool.”

Color Crazy - Solo Exhibition by Cheng Thak Lui

SMART BLONDE JOKE

SMART BLONDE JOKE
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks andNeeds to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500.

The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.

What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my Car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

Finally... a smart blonde joke.

Solo Exhibition - Color Crazy by Cheng Thak Lui (9 March to 23 march 2013)

Solo Exhibition - Color Crazy by Cheng Thak Lui (9 March to 23 march 2013)

JOKES: Who is dumb?

Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.

Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"

Baby boomers admit their biggest financial regret

The generation approaching retirement have disclosed what they regard as their biggest money mistakes.

Regrets: Baby boomers have had a few but the top one is not saving sooner for retirement

By Andrew Oxlade

11:58AM GMT 07 Mar 2013

307 Comments

Britain's baby boomer generation say their biggest financial regret was not starting saving for retirement earlier, according to a new study.

Nearly one in seven (15pc) of adults admitted wishing they had started a pension sooner, with the figure rising to one in five for those approaching retirement, research by Standard Life showed.

Regrets about pension saving narrowly beat remorse about running up credit card debts (see the top five below).

Independent financial advisers have long warned about the adverse affect of starting a pension later.

Those who start saving £100 a month at age 25 could receive an income of £3,570 a year by the time they are 65, according to Standard Life. Using the same assumptions – investment growth of 5pc and increasing saving each year by 3pc – someone saving the same amount from age 40 would have a pension income of only £2,000 a year by the same age.

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"If 20pc of baby boomers who are retiring or are already retired say they wish they’d started saving for their retirement earlier, then we would be foolish not to listen to their advice," said Julie Russell of Standard Life. "The earlier we start saving, the bigger the impact on our future finances.
“For those who feel they’ve already left it too late, the important thing is not to panic and save what they can now.
"And those who are not already saving through a workplace scheme or about to be automatically enrolled into one should find out more about personal pensions if they don’t want to end up with the same regret as many other personal pension savers."
However, official figures have shown how pension membership has rapidly declined. Less than half of all employees, 46pc, were part of a workplace pension scheme last year, the Office for National Statistics (ONS) said last month. That was the lowest figure since it started collecting similar data in 1997.
Only 32pc of private sector employees were saving into a workplace pension in 2012, in sharp contrast to the public sector, where more than 80pc of employees were enrolled in a workplace pension scheme.
A study by HSBC last month suggested Britain had the worst retirement savings deficit in its global study of select countries. It said Britons were likely to live for 19 years but had only enough savings, on average, to cover seven years of it.
A series of pension mis-selling scandals in the Nineties eroded confidence in pension saving and constant tinkering with the system since then has made savers wary of schemes, critics say.
Households have also seen real incomes decline during the financial turmoil of recent years, making it harder to prioritise pension saving.
The Government last year launched a national auto-enrolment scheme, which will see all employees placed into a pension, but they will retain the right to opt out. If the opt out rate is too high, the Government will consider in 2017 whether to introduce compulsory pension saving.
The top five biggest financial regrets
1. I wish I had saved for retirement earlier (15pc)
2. I wish I had avoided running up debt on credit cards or store cards (14pc)
3. I wish I had set and stuck to a budget (10pc)
4. I wish I had spent less on nights out and saved more in general (9pc)
5. I wish I had sold things I no longer needed (5pc)
Pensions offer a tax-efficient way to save because income tax is waived on contributions that are made. Mostly this happens by paying into a pension from work before your wages are taxed. Those paying into a pension other than through work get a boost to their contribution to take into account the basic-rate income tax they have paid. Higher-rate taxpayers can claim back the difference.
Advisers recommend those without a pension first consider any scheme offered by their employer. Most companies will contribute and many will match the amount you put in.
Outside of work schemes, stakeholder personal pensions are savings schemes where the fees are capped and are worth considering. For those who want to take a more active role in selecting investments, a Sipp (self-invested personal pension) is worth considering.
Among the cheaper Sipp options to consider are those offered by Hargreaves Lansdown, Sippdeal or Alliance Trust Savings.
The 'baby boomers' identified by Standard Life were interviewees aged over 55. The wider definition is those born during an explosion of births between 1946 and 1962, who would today be aged 51 to 67.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/pensions/9915075/Baby-boomers-admit-their-biggest-financial-regret.html

Joke

John took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked the man. "I want to get weighed," said the girl. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next the couple went on the ferris wheel. When the ride was over, John again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and John lost his dollar.

The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, John figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?" Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."

Twice Weekly

This sex researcher phones one of the participants in a recent survey of his to check on a discrepancy. He asks the bloke, "In response to the question on frequency of intercourse you answered 'twice weekly'. Your wife, on the other hand, answered 'several times a night'."

"That's right," replies the bloke, "And that's how it's going to stay until our second mortgage is paid off."

The penis size study: How do British men fare?

– / 1

01 October 2012 10:14 AM

Huffington Post

According to a new study, British men typically have bigger penises than their French counterparts, but are far short of Congo. Can you guess the average length?

The average penis size for a British man is apparently 5.5in when erect. (That's just short of the size of a small ruler, if you can remember back.)
Men from Africa's Republic of Congo find themselves at the top of the penis chain with an average length of 7.1in, and the shortest average can be found in North and South Korea at 3.8in.
In Europe, Icelanders are the most equipped at 6.5in and the Romanians are smallest - shortly followed by the Irish. Brits rank 78th out of 113 nationalities - bigger than French but not as large as Germans.
The research was carried out by Dr Richard Lynn, emeritus professor of psychology at Ulster University, for the scientific journal Personality and Individual Differences. Critics have claimed that the study is flawed, as he used some data from websites (well, critics in Korea, anyway).
Here are the average penis sizes in inches:
(The main thing to remember, guys, is that it's not the size, but what you do with it that counts.)

Republic of Congo, 7.1

Ecuador, 7

Ghana, 6.8

Colombia 6.7

Iceland 6.5

Italy 6.2

South Africa 6

Sweden 5.9

Greece 5.8

Germany 5.7

New Zealand 5.5

UK 5.5

Canada 5.5

Spain 5.5

France 5.3

Australia 5.2

Russia 5.2

USA 5.1

Ireland 5

Romania 5

China 4.3

India 4

Thailand 4

South Korea 3.8

North Korea 3.8

 

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/iv-drip/the-penis-size-study-how-do-british-men-fare-8192025.html

Third Grade Class

On little Larry's first day of first grade, he raised his hand as soon as the teacher came into the room and said, 'I don't belong here, I should be in third grade!'

The teacher looked at little Larry's records and told him to please take his seat.

Not five minutes passed when little Larry stood up again and said, 'I don't belong here, I should be in the third grade!'

Larry did this a few more times before the principal came along and the teacher explained Larry's problem. The principal and the first grade teacher told little Larry that if he could answer some questions that they could decide in which grade he belonged. Well, they soon discovered that Larry knew all the state capitals and country capitals that the principal could think of.

The teacher suggested they try some biology questions... 'What does a cow have 4 of but a woman has only 2?' asked the teacher.

'Legs!' Larry immediately replied. "What does a man have in his pants that a woman doesn't?' asked the teacher.

'Pockets!' said Larry.

The teacher looked at the principal, who said, 'Maybe he should be in third grade, I missed those last two questions!'

Reincarnation?

There were two lovers, who were really into spiritualism and reincarnation. They vowed that if either died, the one remaining would try to contact the partner in the other world exactly 30 days after their death. Unfortunately, a few weeks later, the young man died in a car wreck.

True to her word, his sweetheart tried to contact him in the spirit world exactly 30 days later. At the séance, she called out, "John, John, this is Martha. Do you hear me?" A ghostly voice answered her, "Yes Martha, this is John. I can hear you." Martha tearfully asked, "Oh John, what is it like where you are?" "It's great. There are azure skies, a soft breeze, sunshine most of the time, the grass is so green and the cows have such beautiful eyes." "What do you do all day?" asked Martha. "Well, Martha, we get up before sunrise, eat some good breakfast, and there's nothing but making love until noon. After lunch, we nap until two and then make love again until about five. After dinner, we go at it again until we fall asleep about 11 p.m." Martha was somewhat taken aback. "Is that what heaven really is like?" "Heaven? I'm not in heaven, Martha." "Well, then, where are you?" "I'm a bull in Montana."

Sinned?????

One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Adam and Eve, but couldn't find them. Later in the day God saw Adam and asked where he and Eve were earlier. Adam said, "The morning Eve and I made love for the first time."

God said, "Adam, you have sinned. I knew this would happen. Where is Eve now?"

Adam replied, "She's down at the river, washing herself out."

"Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell funny."

Penis Died

A man at a retirement home was walking around with his zipper down holding his penis.

A young nurse says "Why are you doing that?"

He replies, "It died today."

"Oh that's terrible!", the nurse replied

The next day the man has his penis hanging outside of his pants again.

The same nurse says, "I thought it died yesterday."

The man replies, "It did. Today is the viewing"

TIMES UP

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me. But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead.

You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino, some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in be with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "TIMES UP"?

Top Ten Acronyms Least Used In Personal Ads

10. JRLA -- Janet Reno Look-Alike

9. CWP -- Cigar-Wielding President

8. MSG S/G W/B M/F KOPWPFYB -- Moon walking Single-Gloved Straight/Gay White/Black Male/Female King Of Pop With Predilection For Young Boys

7. RHMI -- Really Hip Macarena Instructor

6. HAWGSOH -- Heroin Addict with Great Sense of Humor

5. STLSM -- Show Tune-Loving Straight Male

4. SWFWHBTP -- Single White Female Who Has Blown the President

3. EHWC -- Extremely Hairy White Chick

2. WARSADAP -- Works At Radio Shack and Drives A Pinto and the Number One

1. WSUBFC -- Will Screw Ugly Bastards for Cash

Steiff Floppy Cat, lying - 5620/25

Ma and Pa

Ma and Pa where rocking on the front porch when Pa turned and slapped Ma, Ma said what was that for? Pa said for forty years of bad sex. Ma said oh and continued rocking. Ma reached over and slapped Pa. Pa said what was that for? Ma said for knowing the difference.

Your nuts

A guy walks INTO a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He says to the doctor, "I've felt so weird lately, Doc, can you tell me what's wrong?"

The doctor replied, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts!"

11th Commandment

Last week a very important meeting took place among God, the Pope and Moses. They were troubled because the President of the United States was behaving in an inappropriate manner and there were many people who saw nothing wrong in what he had done. They decided that the only course of action left was to create an 11th Commandment to get their message across.

Now, the problem remained exactly how to word this new commandment so that it matched the other commandments in style and holy inspiration. After great meditation and discussion they concluded: "Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff."

Story of a Woman who just turned 47

When I was 16, I hoped that one day I would have a boyfriend.

When I was 18, I got a boyfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate guy with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate guy, but he was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, he was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a guy with stability.

When I was 25, I found a very stable guy but he was boring. He was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a guy with some excitement.

When I was 28, I found an exciting guy, but I couldn't keep up with him.

He rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. He did mad, impetuous things and flirted with everyone he met. He made me miserable as often as happy. He was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a guy with some ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious guy with his feet planted firmly on the ground and married him. He was so ambitious that he divorced me, took everything I owned, and ran off with my best friend.

I am now 47 and am looking for a guy with a big dick.

Steiff Lamb (LAMBY), it is about 22 cm high (head).

The Ean no is 3462/22.

The lamb has a yellow tag and button.

It was produced from 1989 to 1990.

The lamb has a ribbon but no name tag.

The tail and right ear lose some wool. In the face, there is a gray spot, not sure whether is original or not.

The Perfect Breakfast As a Man Sees It

You’re sitting at the table and your son is on the cover of Wheaties, your mistress is on the cover of Playboy, and your wife is on the back of the milk carton.

Gong Xi Fa Cai

Doggie Position

There were three women who were at the gynecologist having pre-natal checkups The doctor asked the first woman "in what position was the baby conceived?"

"He was on top ", she replied.
"You will have a boy!" the doctor exclaimed.

The second woman was asked the same question.
"I was on top ", was the reply.
"you will have a baby girl. " said the doctor.

With this, the third women, a blonde, burst into tears. "What's the matter?" asked the doc.
"Am I going to have puppies?”.....

Steiff Molly Piff Groundhog Begging -EAN:0346/30

 

 

There is a large beaver brand Steiff

Size about 30 cm,

with button & flag

with black / brown eyes

softly stuffed

in good condition

Having shag?

Newly married couple both nymphomaniacs, husband comes downstairs in the morning and the wife asks what he'd like for breakfast "Oh I think I'll have a shag please!" So they go upstairs have a shag then he goes to work. Husband comes home for lunch, "What would you like for lunch dear?" "Oh I think I'll have a shag please!" So again they shag and he returns to work. Half hour later he walks in the house and finds his wife sliding up and down the banister! "What are you doin?" he asks. "I'm warming up your dinner!!"

Top Ten Signs Your Spouse May Be Having an On-Line Affair

10. Lately she sits at the computer naked.

9. After signing off, he always has a cigarette.

8. The giant rubber inflatable disk drive.

7. In the morning, the computer screen is all fogged up.

6. He's gotten amazingly good at typing with one hand.

5. She makes sarcastic remarks about your "software".

4. Lipstick on the mouse.

3. During sex, she screams "A colon backslash enter insert!"

2. The fax file is filled with pictures of someone's butt.

1. The jam in the laser printer is a pair of underwear.

Ed Zachary Disease

A woman was very despondent over not having sex in quite some time. She was becoming agitated and worried that she might never find a mate. In hopes of finding a solution to her problem, she decided that it was time to see a doctor. Looking thru the phone book, she came upon a Chinese sex therapist named Dr. Chang.

When the woman arrived, she told the doctor her symptoms and he said, "Take off all your clothes and you crawl real fass away from me across the froor."

She crawled to the other side of the room and Dr. Chang said, "Now...you crawl real fass back to me," and she did. Dr. Chang shook his head and said, "you haf real bad case of Ed Zachary disease....worse case I ever see! That why you haf sex probrem."

The woman was completely confused and asked the doctor exactly what Ed Zachary Disease was and he replied, "Ed Zachary Disease....that when your face rook ED-ZACHARY rike your ass!"

Wendy?

This fellow was so deeply in love that just before he was married, he had his bride's name tattooed on his love muscle. Normally, only the first and last letters were visible, although when he was aroused, the tattoo spelled out W-E-N-D-Y. Now they're on their honeymoon at a resort in Montego Bay. One night, in the men's room, this fellow finds himself standing next to a tall Jamaican at the urinal.

To his amazement, he notices that this man, too, has the letters W-Y tattooed on his penis. "Excuse me," he says, "but I couldn't help noticing your tattoo. Do you have a girlfriend named Wendy?" "No way, mon, I work for the Tourist board. Mine reads, "Welcome to Jamaica, mon, have a nice day.'"

A gynecologist mechanic?

A gynecologist had a burning desire to change careers and become a mechanic. So she found out from her local tech college what was involved, signed up for evening classes and attended diligently, learning all she could. When time for the practical exam approached, she prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, she was surprised to find that she had obtained a mark of 150%. Fearing an error, she called the instructor, saying "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wondered if there had been an error which needed adjusting." The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark. I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it THROUGH the muffler..."

 

 

 

Steiff Floppy Cat, lying

EAN: 5620/25

First Year:

1983

Last Year:

1989

No tougue?????

There once lived a king and a queen who ruled a large kingdom. The king was short in vital parts and the queen had to seek solace with every Dick, Tom and Harry.

After some time the king grew suspicious of the queen's escapades and wanted to punish the subjects willing to risk their lives for a fling with her.

He sought the services of his court magician to help identify the culprits. The magician built an invisible contraption that was attached to the queen's waist. The mechanism was simple, it would slice any elongated object that ventured anywhere within an inch of the queen's waist.

Having set his trap the king set off on a hunting trip and returned to his palace after spending a sleepless week and burning with curiosity.

Immediately after his arrival he summoned the queen's private bodyguards to his foyer and having dispatched all attendants ordered them to undress. All of them had lost their penises! He next summoned the palace guards and the result was the same. By mid-afternoon he realized that there was not a single male soul in the vicinity who had not made a valiant attempt only to be left peniless (pun).

The only man left was his minister and to his surprise the king, on inspection found the only man who had a penis left on him!

Pleased with his minister's loyalty he asked him as to what punishment would befit all the others and in reply received only a blubbering sound from the minister's mouth.

Slicer

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He'd been employed there for years when he came home one day and told his wife he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.

His wife, terribly concerned, suggested that he saw sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill refused - he'd be too embarrassed, he said, and vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

So a few weeks later, Bill came home one day white-faced. His wife knew something was seriously wrong. "My God, Bill, what's wrong?" she asked. Bill looked at her. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"
"Oh Bill, you didn't," she moaned, horrified.
"Yes, I did," replied Bill.
"My God, Bill, what happened?"
"I got fired."
"No, Bill, I mean what happened with the pickle slicer?"
"Oh, she got fired too."

Condom

This man's in the line at the supermarket check out. But when he gets to the register he realizes he's forgotten to pick up his condoms. So he asks the checkout girl if she could have someone bring them. She replies, "Of course, Sir, but I'll just check your size. Drop your pants please." Wow, he thinks, this is great service, and he drops 'em. She reaches over the counter, grabs his cock, picks the store intercom and announces, "One box of large condoms to check out 10."

Well, the next man in line thought this was interesting and, so, when he gets to the check out, he tells the checker that he too has forgotten to get condoms, and asks if she could have some brought up to the register. Sure enough, she asks him to drop his pants to check his size, gives him a quick feel, picks up the store intercom and says, "One box of medium sized condoms to check out 10."

A few customers back was this teen-age boy. He thought what he'd seen was just so cool, and he'd never had any sexual experience with a woman, so this seemed like his big chance. When he gets to the register, he tells the checker he needs some condoms bringing up. She asks him what size, and he says he doesn't know. So she asks him to drop his pants for her to check. One quick feel, and she picks up the intercom and announces, "Clean up crew to check out 10!"