"It's really a wonder that I haven't dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart." Anne Frank

The worst

One night, three guys are at a bar talking and they all think their wives are cheating on them.

The first guy says he thinks his wife is screwing a plumber because he found a tool belt under his bed.

They all agree, and the second guy tells his story. He says he thinks his wife is screwing a judge because he found a robe and gavel under his bed.

They all agree, and then the third guy says, "That's nothing! My wife is the worst! I came home and found a cowboy under my bed. I can't believe she's screwing a horse."

Worth it

An Egyptian man is walking through the Cairo bazaar, when a stranger comes up to him and offers to sell Viagra (illegal in Egypt) for 100 Egyptian pounds.

"No, not worth it!"

"OK, how about 50 Egyptian pounds?"

"No, not worth it!"

"OK, 20?"

"No, not worth it!"

"How about 10?"

"No, not worth it!"

"Listen, these pills cost US $10 each. How can you say they are not worth it?"

"Oh, the pills ARE worth it. My wife is not worth it."

"Judge of your natural character by what you do in your dreams." Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Die when I may, I want it said by those who knew me best that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower where I thought a flower would grow." Abraham Lincoln

Coma

When the nurse was bathing a female patient who had been in a coma for many months, she noticed a reaction when placing a sponge between her legs. When the doctor was notified, he called the husband and asked him to report to the hospital immediately. Upon his arrival the doctor explained that the nurse had seen a reaction when her private parts were stimulated. He suggested that the husband should have oral sex with her because it might lead to improvement in her condition. After about 15 minutes the husband came out of her room and announced that she was dead!

"How did that happen?" asked the doctor.

"I think she choked to death," said the husband.

"Who you are speaks so loudly I can't hear what you're saying." Ralph Waldo Emerson

"There is nothing in which people more betray their character than in what they laugh at." Goethe

"Circumstances do not make a man, they reveal him." Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

"Of all the properties which belong to honorable men, not one is so highly prized as that of character." Henry Clay

"Nothing great has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe something inside them was superior to circumstances."
--Bruce Barton

"Your reputation is in the hands of others. That's what a reputation is. You can't control that. The only thing you can control is your character."Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

"Always do right - this will gratify some and astonish the rest." Mark Twain

If standard of living is your major objective, quality of life almost never improves, but if quality of life is your number one objective, your standard of living almost always improves.
Zig Ziglar

"Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth."
-- Franklin D. Roosevelt

"One's best success comes after their greatest disappointments."
  Henry Ward Beecher

You can finish school, and even make it easy -but you never finish your education,and it's seldom easy.
Zig Ziglar

"To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to." Kahlil Gibran

"What is the recipe for successful achievement? To my mind there are just four essential ingredients: Choose a career you love . . . Give it the best there is in you . . . Seize your opportunities And be a member of the team. In no country but America, I believe, is it possible to fulfill all four of these requirements." Benjamin F. Fairless

"We succeed only as we identify in life, or in war, or in anything else, a single overriding objective, and make all other considerations bend to that one objective." General Dwight David Eisenhower