A man comes to his doctor and tells him that his wife hasn't had sex with him for 6 months. The doctor tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her. So the wife comes into the doctors office and the doc asks her what's wrong, and why doesn't she want to have sex with her husband anymore.
The wife tells him, "For the past 6 months, every morning I take a cab to work. I don't have any money so the cab driver asks me, 'So are you going to pay today or what?' so I take a 'or what'. When I get to work I'm late so the boss asks me, 'So are we going to write this down in the book or what?' so I take a 'or what'.
Back home again I take the cab and again I don't have any money so the cab driver asks me again, 'So are you going to pay this time or what?' so again I take a 'or what'. So you see doc when I get home I'm all tired out, and I don't want it any more."
The doctor thinks for a second and then turns to the wife and says, "So are we going to tell your husband or what?"
Source: a what?
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
Why Sex??
Why Sex??
1) 94% of men lie about their dick size. According to
condom manufacturers, only 6% of men need to use extra large
condoms.
2) The average man is 4-5 inches long when erect; no matter
what you have heard ladies, that's the truth.
Incidentally the average vaginal capacity is only 6 inches,
for you women who think you can handle king dong.
3) 80% of American men are circumcise, though Pediatrics
say it is not necessary.
4) No matter what all the ads say nothing but time can make
your penis grow. (most men reach the end of their growth by
the early 20's)
5) There is no correlation between penis size and shoe
size, hand size, or nose size.
6) Blue balls does exist! It's technically called
'prostatic congestion.'
7) Only 16% of men shave their privates
+Some stuff on the ladies+
------------ --------- ---------
1) Only 9% of women around the globe consider themselves
'attractive' (20% of British women do). 43% of women
use the term 'natural', 24% say they have
'average' looks, 8% prefer the term
'feminine', 7% say they are 'good looking',
and 7% say they are 'cute', and finally only 2% of
women say they are 'sexy'.
2) An estimated 85% of women wear the wrong size bra.
3) 60% of women have had breast implants. (thats a lot !! )
4) 75% of women like giving/getting oral sex.
5) 95% of women shave their privates.
+Both+
------------ --------- --------- --
1) Masturbation is healthy for both men and women.
2) 70% of high schoolers have had sex before they have
graduated. 27% loose their virginity senior prom night. Only
3% wait until marriage.
3) 95% of men would have sex with a girl after 1 month of
dating. Only 10% of women feel this way.
4) Teens are most likely to have sex for the first time in
JUNE.
5) First-time intercourse is often unplanned, meaning
it's less likely teens will use contraception.
6) Virginity is often lost with a person they HAVEN'T
been dating.
+5 Reasons Why Sex is Good+
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
1) It is a good workout. Sex burns about 150 calories every
half an hour. It will lower your cholesterol and improve
breathing circulation.
2) You won't get sick. According to research if you
have sex 1-2 times a week you are less likely to get sick.
3) You'll feel happier. You will feel a greater sense
of well-being. Women who have more sex were clinically
proven to be less depressed than women who don't have sex.
4) Makes you look better; problem is that ugly people
don't get any. Sex releases hormones which make your
skin and hair softer and shinier and tone your physique.
5) (The best reason) You will live longer. Studies prove
that sex makes you live longer. Men who had sex 1-2 times a
week had half the death rate as those who did not indulge
themselves at least once a month. It also makes you look
younger. If you have sex 3 times a week you may look up to
10 years younger than you really are.
Did You Know?
------------ --------- --------- --------- -
1) Having sex 3 times a week for 1 year adds up to running
75 miles!!!
1) 94% of men lie about their dick size. According to
condom manufacturers, only 6% of men need to use extra large
condoms.
2) The average man is 4-5 inches long when erect; no matter
what you have heard ladies, that's the truth.
Incidentally the average vaginal capacity is only 6 inches,
for you women who think you can handle king dong.
3) 80% of American men are circumcise, though Pediatrics
say it is not necessary.
4) No matter what all the ads say nothing but time can make
your penis grow. (most men reach the end of their growth by
the early 20's)
5) There is no correlation between penis size and shoe
size, hand size, or nose size.
6) Blue balls does exist! It's technically called
'prostatic congestion.'
7) Only 16% of men shave their privates
+Some stuff on the ladies+
------------ --------- ---------
1) Only 9% of women around the globe consider themselves
'attractive' (20% of British women do). 43% of women
use the term 'natural', 24% say they have
'average' looks, 8% prefer the term
'feminine', 7% say they are 'good looking',
and 7% say they are 'cute', and finally only 2% of
women say they are 'sexy'.
2) An estimated 85% of women wear the wrong size bra.
3) 60% of women have had breast implants. (thats a lot !! )
4) 75% of women like giving/getting oral sex.
5) 95% of women shave their privates.
+Both+
------------ --------- --------- --
1) Masturbation is healthy for both men and women.
2) 70% of high schoolers have had sex before they have
graduated. 27% loose their virginity senior prom night. Only
3% wait until marriage.
3) 95% of men would have sex with a girl after 1 month of
dating. Only 10% of women feel this way.
4) Teens are most likely to have sex for the first time in
JUNE.
5) First-time intercourse is often unplanned, meaning
it's less likely teens will use contraception.
6) Virginity is often lost with a person they HAVEN'T
been dating.
+5 Reasons Why Sex is Good+
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
1) It is a good workout. Sex burns about 150 calories every
half an hour. It will lower your cholesterol and improve
breathing circulation.
2) You won't get sick. According to research if you
have sex 1-2 times a week you are less likely to get sick.
3) You'll feel happier. You will feel a greater sense
of well-being. Women who have more sex were clinically
proven to be less depressed than women who don't have sex.
4) Makes you look better; problem is that ugly people
don't get any. Sex releases hormones which make your
skin and hair softer and shinier and tone your physique.
5) (The best reason) You will live longer. Studies prove
that sex makes you live longer. Men who had sex 1-2 times a
week had half the death rate as those who did not indulge
themselves at least once a month. It also makes you look
younger. If you have sex 3 times a week you may look up to
10 years younger than you really are.
Did You Know?
------------ --------- --------- --------- -
1) Having sex 3 times a week for 1 year adds up to running
75 miles!!!
Singapore Airlines .......joke of the day
Singapore Airlines .......joke of the day
Once upon a time in Singapore , there lived a happy couple, Mr. & Mrs. Ng with their 3 lovely daughters; Elaine, Ena & Ella.
The 3 daughters were brought up in a prim-and-proper way and when they reached 20, they were still virgins.Years passed, and it was time to get them married.
So, the parents found them the most suitable " leng chais" (handsome guys). They got married and were preparing to set-off on their honeymoon.
As "concerned" (more like "kay-poh") parents, Mr.& Mrs. Ng were curious about their daughters' first-night experience. So, before the daughters went on their respective honeymoons, Mrs. Ng told them......"
Your father and I want to know about your 1st night encounters and whether you are satisfied.
Write a letter to us, but as not to raise your husbands' curiosity...you all must use codes to describe your experiences".
So, the excited daughters were off. A week passed.
Mr. & Mrs. Ng got the first letter.
It was from Elaine.They opened the letter and found the word STANDARD CHARTERED. They immediately took the newspaper and looked for the Standard Chartered advertisement."Ah! here it is!", exclaimed Mr. Ng. The motto for Standard Chartered was.... "BIG, STRONG & FRIENDLY" Mr & Mrs. Ng were happy.
A week later, they got another letter. This time it was from Ena. The content was simple. "NESCAFE".So, again they took the newspaper and looked for the Nescafe ad."Ah! here it is."NESCAFE: PLEASURE TILL THE LAST DROP". Mr. & Mrs. Ng beamed with joy.
Another week passed.A month passed. And another.There was still no letter from Ella. The Ngs became worried.
Finally, the letter came. It was scribbled and could hardly be read, but Mrs. Ng managed to figure it out.The code-name was " SINGAPORE AIRLINES".
Why Singapore Airlines? Mr.Ng rushed to the nearest store and got a newspaper. He flipped the pages frantically."Ah! Here it is!"Mrs. Ng grabbed the page and read aloud. Before she could finish ...THUMP!!!...she fell off her chair. The motto was ..."7 TIMES A WEEK, 4 TO 6 TIMES A DAY, NON-STOP".
Once upon a time in Singapore , there lived a happy couple, Mr. & Mrs. Ng with their 3 lovely daughters; Elaine, Ena & Ella.
The 3 daughters were brought up in a prim-and-proper way and when they reached 20, they were still virgins.Years passed, and it was time to get them married.
So, the parents found them the most suitable " leng chais" (handsome guys). They got married and were preparing to set-off on their honeymoon.
As "concerned" (more like "kay-poh") parents, Mr.& Mrs. Ng were curious about their daughters' first-night experience. So, before the daughters went on their respective honeymoons, Mrs. Ng told them......"
Your father and I want to know about your 1st night encounters and whether you are satisfied.
Write a letter to us, but as not to raise your husbands' curiosity...you all must use codes to describe your experiences".
So, the excited daughters were off. A week passed.
Mr. & Mrs. Ng got the first letter.
It was from Elaine.They opened the letter and found the word STANDARD CHARTERED. They immediately took the newspaper and looked for the Standard Chartered advertisement."Ah! here it is!", exclaimed Mr. Ng. The motto for Standard Chartered was.... "BIG, STRONG & FRIENDLY" Mr & Mrs. Ng were happy.
A week later, they got another letter. This time it was from Ena. The content was simple. "NESCAFE".So, again they took the newspaper and looked for the Nescafe ad."Ah! here it is."NESCAFE: PLEASURE TILL THE LAST DROP". Mr. & Mrs. Ng beamed with joy.
Another week passed.A month passed. And another.There was still no letter from Ella. The Ngs became worried.
Finally, the letter came. It was scribbled and could hardly be read, but Mrs. Ng managed to figure it out.The code-name was " SINGAPORE AIRLINES".
Why Singapore Airlines? Mr.Ng rushed to the nearest store and got a newspaper. He flipped the pages frantically."Ah! Here it is!"Mrs. Ng grabbed the page and read aloud. Before she could finish ...THUMP!!!...she fell off her chair. The motto was ..."7 TIMES A WEEK, 4 TO 6 TIMES A DAY, NON-STOP".
Monday, May 24, 2010
DAD AT MALL
DAD AT MALL
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors; green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find dad staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your ?'
Knowing my dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response, 'Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors; green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find dad staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your ?'
Knowing my dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response, 'Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
The BENEFITS of SEX
The BENEFITS of SEX
Did you know that we can determine if a person is sexually active or not by looking at her skin ?
1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests have shown that a woman who has sexual relations produces big amounts of estrogen which makes hair shiny and soft.
2. To make love in soft and relaxed way reduces the possibilities of suffering from dermatitis and acne. The sweat produced cleans pores and makes the skin shine.
3. To make love allows to burn all the calories accumulate is this romantic love scene.
4. Sex is one of the safest sports. It strengthens and tonifies all body muscles. It is more enjoyabel than doing 20 lapses in the pool. And you don't need special shoes !
5. Sex is an instantaneous cure against depression. It frees endorphines in the blood flow, creating a state of euphoria and leaves us with a feeling of well-being.
6. The more we make love, the more we have the capacity to do more. A body sexually active releases a higher amount of pheromone. This subtle aroma excites the opposite sex !
7. Sex is the safest tranquiliser in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFICIENT THAN VALIUM.
8. To kiss everyday allows to avoid the dentist. Kisses aid saliva in cleaning teeths and lower the quantity of acids causing enamel weakening.
9. Sex relieves headaches. Each time we make love, it releases the tension in brain veins.
10. To make love a lot can heal a nasal congestion. Sex is a natural antihistaminic. It helps fight asthma and spring allergies.
Source unknown
Did you know that we can determine if a person is sexually active or not by looking at her skin ?
1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests have shown that a woman who has sexual relations produces big amounts of estrogen which makes hair shiny and soft.
2. To make love in soft and relaxed way reduces the possibilities of suffering from dermatitis and acne. The sweat produced cleans pores and makes the skin shine.
3. To make love allows to burn all the calories accumulate is this romantic love scene.
4. Sex is one of the safest sports. It strengthens and tonifies all body muscles. It is more enjoyabel than doing 20 lapses in the pool. And you don't need special shoes !
5. Sex is an instantaneous cure against depression. It frees endorphines in the blood flow, creating a state of euphoria and leaves us with a feeling of well-being.
6. The more we make love, the more we have the capacity to do more. A body sexually active releases a higher amount of pheromone. This subtle aroma excites the opposite sex !
7. Sex is the safest tranquiliser in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFICIENT THAN VALIUM.
8. To kiss everyday allows to avoid the dentist. Kisses aid saliva in cleaning teeths and lower the quantity of acids causing enamel weakening.
9. Sex relieves headaches. Each time we make love, it releases the tension in brain veins.
10. To make love a lot can heal a nasal congestion. Sex is a natural antihistaminic. It helps fight asthma and spring allergies.
Source unknown
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Of Comdoms, sex, marriage and.....
Q: Why are condoms transparent?
A: So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene even if their entry is Restricted!
Signboard outside a prostitute's house: Married MEN not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy...
New AIDS awareness slogan: Try different positions with the same woman instead of same position with different women.
Why is $ex like shaving? Well, because no matter how well you do it today... tomorrow you'll have to do it again...
Q: What will happen if earth rotates 30 times faster?
A: Men will get their salary everyday and women will bleed to death.
Q: Why do 90% gals have left boob bigger than right?
A: Bcoz 90% boys are right handed.
Q: What is the difference between an UNDERWEAR & a STAGE CURTAIN?
A: When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the UNDERWEAR...... it is SHOWTIME!
Q: What is the similarity between a wife and a chewing gum?
A: Both are sweet in the beginning but become tasteless and shapeless later
Advantages of having an affair with a married women.
They give like hell.
They do not yell.
They do not tell.
They do not swell and there is no wedding bell!
My dad told me that if Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would be still in Paradise . Why? Because they would have eaten the snake instead of the bloody apple!
Source: Unknown
A: So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene even if their entry is Restricted!
Signboard outside a prostitute's house: Married MEN not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy...
New AIDS awareness slogan: Try different positions with the same woman instead of same position with different women.
Why is $ex like shaving? Well, because no matter how well you do it today... tomorrow you'll have to do it again...
Q: What will happen if earth rotates 30 times faster?
A: Men will get their salary everyday and women will bleed to death.
Q: Why do 90% gals have left boob bigger than right?
A: Bcoz 90% boys are right handed.
Q: What is the difference between an UNDERWEAR & a STAGE CURTAIN?
A: When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the UNDERWEAR...... it is SHOWTIME!
Q: What is the similarity between a wife and a chewing gum?
A: Both are sweet in the beginning but become tasteless and shapeless later
Advantages of having an affair with a married women.
They give like hell.
They do not yell.
They do not tell.
They do not swell and there is no wedding bell!
My dad told me that if Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would be still in Paradise . Why? Because they would have eaten the snake instead of the bloody apple!
Source: Unknown
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Live to be 80 ??
Live to be 80 ??
I recently turned 65 and had to choose a new primary care physician for my Medicare program.
After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I will live to be 80?"
He asked: Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic beverages?"
"Oh no," I replied. "I don't do drugs, either."
"Do you have many friends and entertain frequently?"
"I said, "No, I usually stay home and keep to myself".
"Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"
I said, "No, my other doctor said that all red meat is unhealthy!"
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"
"No, I don't," I said.
"Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"
"No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."
He looked at me and said, "Then why would you want to live to 80?
Souece: Unknown
I recently turned 65 and had to choose a new primary care physician for my Medicare program.
After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I will live to be 80?"
He asked: Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic beverages?"
"Oh no," I replied. "I don't do drugs, either."
"Do you have many friends and entertain frequently?"
"I said, "No, I usually stay home and keep to myself".
"Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"
I said, "No, my other doctor said that all red meat is unhealthy!"
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"
"No, I don't," I said.
"Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"
"No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."
He looked at me and said, "Then why would you want to live to 80?
Souece: Unknown
THE BEAUTY OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE !!!
THE BEAUTY OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE !!!
One word or two? From a cheeky friend.
An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.
Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.
Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.
'How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively.
'I would like it infrequently' she replied.
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, leaned over towards her and whispered - 'Is that one word or two?'
Source: Unknown
One word or two? From a cheeky friend.
An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.
Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.
Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.
'How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively.
'I would like it infrequently' she replied.
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, leaned over towards her and whispered - 'Is that one word or two?'
Source: Unknown
Monday, October 12, 2009
Form Two student addicted to sex after rape
What is happening to our society these days? Sad isn't it?????? Will expelling the girl from school help her?
===============thestar=========
Form Two student addicted to sex after rape
A FORM Two student claimed that she became addicted to sex after being raped by a 40-year-old man.
The girl, who only wanted to be known as Roslina, related to Metro Ahad that since the incident, she would have sex with up to eight partners at the same time in the storeroom of her school.
She said she lost her self-esteem after being raped by the man, who was never arrested despite a police report being lodged against him by her family.
“I skipped school, smoked cigarettes, drank alcohol, and got more and more into sex,” she said in between tears.
She said she became addicted to sex, hence her penchant for having multiple partners at the same time.
According to her, this went on for four months before the school authorities expelled her and the other students who were caught in the act.
===============thestar=========
Form Two student addicted to sex after rape
A FORM Two student claimed that she became addicted to sex after being raped by a 40-year-old man.
The girl, who only wanted to be known as Roslina, related to Metro Ahad that since the incident, she would have sex with up to eight partners at the same time in the storeroom of her school.
She said she lost her self-esteem after being raped by the man, who was never arrested despite a police report being lodged against him by her family.
“I skipped school, smoked cigarettes, drank alcohol, and got more and more into sex,” she said in between tears.
She said she became addicted to sex, hence her penchant for having multiple partners at the same time.
According to her, this went on for four months before the school authorities expelled her and the other students who were caught in the act.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Man gets1,000 lashes for boasting about sex
Ha ha ha see who got the last laugh. Some man just their brains between the balls.
==============MalaysianMirror======================
Man gets1,000 lashes for boasting about sex
Sunday, 11 October 2009 13:24
JEDDAH - A Saudi court has sentenced a man to five years in jail and 1,000 lashes for boasting about his sexual exploits on television, in a case that has divided public opinion in the conservative Islamic kingdom.
Abdul-Jawad, a divorced father of four, was arrested in August after discussing his premarital sexual encounters, showing off his pick-up techniques and displaying some sex toys and lubricants on a Lebanese TV program.
His comments caused a public outcry in Saudi Arabia, where the religious elite has vast powers over society and religious police enforce the segregation of men and women in public.
Friends also punished
King Abdullah has begun to reform education and the judiciary in recent years, partly to discourage Islamic militancy. But he faces resistance from clerics and conservative princes and analysts say the case gives fresh momentum to some clerics' calls for strict curbs on social freedoms.
Three of Abdul-Jawad's friends who appeared on the Lebanese Broadcasting Corporation (LBC) were sentenced to two years in jail and 300 lashes each.
LBC is a popular channel in Saudi Arabia, one of the world's most conservative societies, and many Saudis tune into its Western-style entertainment programs and talk shows.
Used his cellphone to pick up girls
Abdul-Jawad, 32, spoke from his bedroom on an episode of "In Bold Red." He was shown driving his red convertible to a shopping mall where he said he used his mobile phone to pick up girls.
A court official said that, on top of the lashings and jail sentence, Abdul-Jawad's phone and car would be confiscated and he would be banned from traveling after completing his term.
"Dont push! Don't push," a distressed Abdul-Jawad yelled as he struggled in the grasp of two policemen escorting him out of the judge's office in Jeddah Wednesday.
Could have been given death penalty
Lawyers say Abdul-Jawad could have been given the death penalty. Judges, who are clerics of Saudi Arabia's strict Wahhabi school of Islam, have wide powers of discretion.
Abdul-Jawad's brother said it would be difficult for him to be accepted back into society.
"Now he has been fired from his job and after his jail term it won't be possible for him to get a job in government or the private sector because he was charged with a case of moral indecency," said the brother, who asked not to be named
==============MalaysianMirror======================
Man gets1,000 lashes for boasting about sex
Sunday, 11 October 2009 13:24
JEDDAH - A Saudi court has sentenced a man to five years in jail and 1,000 lashes for boasting about his sexual exploits on television, in a case that has divided public opinion in the conservative Islamic kingdom.
Abdul-Jawad, a divorced father of four, was arrested in August after discussing his premarital sexual encounters, showing off his pick-up techniques and displaying some sex toys and lubricants on a Lebanese TV program.
His comments caused a public outcry in Saudi Arabia, where the religious elite has vast powers over society and religious police enforce the segregation of men and women in public.
Friends also punished
King Abdullah has begun to reform education and the judiciary in recent years, partly to discourage Islamic militancy. But he faces resistance from clerics and conservative princes and analysts say the case gives fresh momentum to some clerics' calls for strict curbs on social freedoms.
Three of Abdul-Jawad's friends who appeared on the Lebanese Broadcasting Corporation (LBC) were sentenced to two years in jail and 300 lashes each.
LBC is a popular channel in Saudi Arabia, one of the world's most conservative societies, and many Saudis tune into its Western-style entertainment programs and talk shows.
Used his cellphone to pick up girls
Abdul-Jawad, 32, spoke from his bedroom on an episode of "In Bold Red." He was shown driving his red convertible to a shopping mall where he said he used his mobile phone to pick up girls.
A court official said that, on top of the lashings and jail sentence, Abdul-Jawad's phone and car would be confiscated and he would be banned from traveling after completing his term.
"Dont push! Don't push," a distressed Abdul-Jawad yelled as he struggled in the grasp of two policemen escorting him out of the judge's office in Jeddah Wednesday.
Could have been given death penalty
Lawyers say Abdul-Jawad could have been given the death penalty. Judges, who are clerics of Saudi Arabia's strict Wahhabi school of Islam, have wide powers of discretion.
Abdul-Jawad's brother said it would be difficult for him to be accepted back into society.
"Now he has been fired from his job and after his jail term it won't be possible for him to get a job in government or the private sector because he was charged with a case of moral indecency," said the brother, who asked not to be named
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Jokes
The best adult jokes contest 2009 through cellphone texts/smses in U.S.A..
Grand Prize USD50,000.00
Newly wed girl told mom her husband is still a virgin.Mom asked "How do you know dear?"Girl replied "Last night, when we made love, his cock was still in plastic cover."
First Prize USD25,000.00Immigrant Worker: "Sir, me no come to work, me sick."Boss: " When I am sick, I have sex with my wife - try it."2 hours later, immigrant worker shows up at work:"Boss! It worked! Me ok now. You got nice house."
9 Consolation Prizes USD10,000.00 each
1. After sex, a newly-wed wife kept fondling her husband's cock.
Husband asked: "Why? Want to have sex again?"
Wife replied: "No dear, I just admiring your cock. I used to have one before."
2. Women's lives are hard.
Morning, wash clothes.
Noon, hang clothes.
Evening, keep clothes.
Nite, iron clothes.
Midnight, take off clothes.
After midnight, find clothes.
3. Priest lost his chicken and asked during mass: "Anyone got a cock?"
All men rose.
"I meant anyone seen a cock?"
All women rose.
"I mean anyone seen my cock?"
All nuns rose.
4. A Sad story
A woman's husband died and she had him cremated.
She then blew his ashes into the ocean and said,
"Sweetheart, this is my last blowjob for you."
5. Girl: "Mom what is a penis?"
Mom: "When you become a good girl, you will get one."
Girl: "But mom, what if I am not a good girl?"
Mom: "Then you will get many, dear!"
6. A lawyer who was confused in his mathematics asked his secretary:
"If I give you USD3 million less 17.5%, how much would you take off?"
Secretary: "Everything sir! Dress, Bra, Panties, Everything."
7. Schoolgirl: "I do not want to take the sex Education class."
Teacher: "Why?"
Schoolgirl: "Someone told me that the final exam will be Oral."
8. Two sperms talking on mobile phone.
Ist: "I'm somewhere between the fallopian tube and uterus. Are you close-by?"
2nd: "No boy, I am taking a different route. I am just crossing the tonsils."
9. Scientists have discovered that the lightest thing in the world is a penis.
This is because it can be lifted up even by just a simple thought.
Source unknown as sent by email by a friend
Grand Prize USD50,000.00
Newly wed girl told mom her husband is still a virgin.Mom asked "How do you know dear?"Girl replied "Last night, when we made love, his cock was still in plastic cover."
First Prize USD25,000.00Immigrant Worker: "Sir, me no come to work, me sick."Boss: " When I am sick, I have sex with my wife - try it."2 hours later, immigrant worker shows up at work:"Boss! It worked! Me ok now. You got nice house."
9 Consolation Prizes USD10,000.00 each
1. After sex, a newly-wed wife kept fondling her husband's cock.
Husband asked: "Why? Want to have sex again?"
Wife replied: "No dear, I just admiring your cock. I used to have one before."
2. Women's lives are hard.
Morning, wash clothes.
Noon, hang clothes.
Evening, keep clothes.
Nite, iron clothes.
Midnight, take off clothes.
After midnight, find clothes.
3. Priest lost his chicken and asked during mass: "Anyone got a cock?"
All men rose.
"I meant anyone seen a cock?"
All women rose.
"I mean anyone seen my cock?"
All nuns rose.
4. A Sad story
A woman's husband died and she had him cremated.
She then blew his ashes into the ocean and said,
"Sweetheart, this is my last blowjob for you."
5. Girl: "Mom what is a penis?"
Mom: "When you become a good girl, you will get one."
Girl: "But mom, what if I am not a good girl?"
Mom: "Then you will get many, dear!"
6. A lawyer who was confused in his mathematics asked his secretary:
"If I give you USD3 million less 17.5%, how much would you take off?"
Secretary: "Everything sir! Dress, Bra, Panties, Everything."
7. Schoolgirl: "I do not want to take the sex Education class."
Teacher: "Why?"
Schoolgirl: "Someone told me that the final exam will be Oral."
8. Two sperms talking on mobile phone.
Ist: "I'm somewhere between the fallopian tube and uterus. Are you close-by?"
2nd: "No boy, I am taking a different route. I am just crossing the tonsils."
9. Scientists have discovered that the lightest thing in the world is a penis.
This is because it can be lifted up even by just a simple thought.
Source unknown as sent by email by a friend
Thursday, July 02, 2009
Adult Jokes
Adult Jokes
A judge asked a woman on why she wanted a divorce..
She answered, "Your Honor, he knew I'm a vegetarian and yet he still insists on putting his meat in my mouth."
Woman: "Doc, an ant entered my vagina, can you please take it out".
Doctor removes her panties and start making love.
Woman: "What are you doing?" Doctor: "This is the only way to drown the bastard!"
Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
Answer: Your SALARY. It comes once a month last 3 - 4 days & if it doesn't come you are in deep trouble!
A lady visited her doctor again, Dr. said: U look more sick & exhausted then before.
Are u having 3 meals a day as I advised?
Lady: WHAT? I thought U said 3 MALES a day!!!!
Women asked God to make The Penis Pretty.
GOD Said "No way; Now As It Is, The Penis is so ugly & U still Suck It.
If I make it Pretty You'll Eat It up!!
A nun went 4 a urine test.
The sample got mixed up.
When the doctor told her she was pregnant.
She cried n said, "Shit, we can't even trust cucumber anymore.!"
A boy pulls down his pants in front of a girl & asked " Do U have this? "
The girl lifted up her skirt & said, "
My mom said with this I can have a lot of THAT!"
Schoolgirl: "I do not want to take the SEX EDUCATION".
Class Teacher: " Why not?"
Schoolgirl: "Someone told me the FINAL EXAM would be ORAL!"
Mother asks daughter, how is married life? Daughter shyly says like BRITISH AIRWAYS. Mother reads the advertisement & is shocked. It says " 7 DAYS A WEEK,TWICE A DAY, BOTH WAYS!
What is the STRONGEST muscle?
TONGUE - It can raise a woman's hip with just one lick!. The lightest muscle?
PENIS! It can be raised by a woman's tongue!
Lady Immigration officer asked a Korean tourist: Name? Park Yu..
The 0fficer become angry & shouted back: FUCK YOU! Now what's your full name?
Korean replied: PARK YU TOO!!
Man to wife: Business is bad, if u learn how to cook we can remove servant.
Wife: ASSHOLE! If u learn how to fuck, we can remove driver, gardener & watchman...
COCK say to his two BALLS: I am going to take you with me to a party.
BALLS said: You big fucking liar.
You always get INSIDE and leave us waiting OUTSIDE!
A baby dog asked mama dog how papa look like?
Mama dog reply: How I know. Your papa came from behind & I didn't have chance to see his face" !
What's the difference between stress, tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, PANIC is when both are pregnant!
A judge asked a woman on why she wanted a divorce..
She answered, "Your Honor, he knew I'm a vegetarian and yet he still insists on putting his meat in my mouth."
Woman: "Doc, an ant entered my vagina, can you please take it out".
Doctor removes her panties and start making love.
Woman: "What are you doing?" Doctor: "This is the only way to drown the bastard!"
Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
Answer: Your SALARY. It comes once a month last 3 - 4 days & if it doesn't come you are in deep trouble!
A lady visited her doctor again, Dr. said: U look more sick & exhausted then before.
Are u having 3 meals a day as I advised?
Lady: WHAT? I thought U said 3 MALES a day!!!!
Women asked God to make The Penis Pretty.
GOD Said "No way; Now As It Is, The Penis is so ugly & U still Suck It.
If I make it Pretty You'll Eat It up!!
A nun went 4 a urine test.
The sample got mixed up.
When the doctor told her she was pregnant.
She cried n said, "Shit, we can't even trust cucumber anymore.!"
A boy pulls down his pants in front of a girl & asked " Do U have this? "
The girl lifted up her skirt & said, "
My mom said with this I can have a lot of THAT!"
Schoolgirl: "I do not want to take the SEX EDUCATION".
Class Teacher: " Why not?"
Schoolgirl: "Someone told me the FINAL EXAM would be ORAL!"
Mother asks daughter, how is married life? Daughter shyly says like BRITISH AIRWAYS. Mother reads the advertisement & is shocked. It says " 7 DAYS A WEEK,TWICE A DAY, BOTH WAYS!
What is the STRONGEST muscle?
TONGUE - It can raise a woman's hip with just one lick!. The lightest muscle?
PENIS! It can be raised by a woman's tongue!
Lady Immigration officer asked a Korean tourist: Name? Park Yu..
The 0fficer become angry & shouted back: FUCK YOU! Now what's your full name?
Korean replied: PARK YU TOO!!
Man to wife: Business is bad, if u learn how to cook we can remove servant.
Wife: ASSHOLE! If u learn how to fuck, we can remove driver, gardener & watchman...
COCK say to his two BALLS: I am going to take you with me to a party.
BALLS said: You big fucking liar.
You always get INSIDE and leave us waiting OUTSIDE!
A baby dog asked mama dog how papa look like?
Mama dog reply: How I know. Your papa came from behind & I didn't have chance to see his face" !
What's the difference between stress, tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, PANIC is when both are pregnant!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Some thing juicy and different.....
Ha ha ha Sex sold in food court........ How do they do it? A blowjob on the table or sex on the chair????? Not exactlylah. The women are convassing for customers for sex in the food court area only.ha ha ha ha......Not opening a stall and providing sex.
Sex sold at food court
Compiled by BEH YUEN HUI, IZATUN SHARI and A. RAMAN
FOREIGN women have been using food courts in Jalan Gelang, off Jalan Loke Yew, in Kuala Lumpur to solicit for sex.
A Sin Chew Daily special investigative team discovered that the women also walk the streets to look for potential customers.
The women bring their customers to nearby flats to have sex.
Each “session” costs customers between RM100 and RM150, regardless of the woman’s age, the daily reported.
According to a resident at the flat, the women begin their “business” from noon to 6am every day.
Most of the women seen during the day were middle-aged while the young ones appeared at night.
The resident alleged that a group of men, believed to be plainclothes policemen, would raid the streets several times a month and round up the foreigners.
“But the women always return after a few days,” he said.
Sex sold at food court
Compiled by BEH YUEN HUI, IZATUN SHARI and A. RAMAN
FOREIGN women have been using food courts in Jalan Gelang, off Jalan Loke Yew, in Kuala Lumpur to solicit for sex.
A Sin Chew Daily special investigative team discovered that the women also walk the streets to look for potential customers.
The women bring their customers to nearby flats to have sex.
Each “session” costs customers between RM100 and RM150, regardless of the woman’s age, the daily reported.
According to a resident at the flat, the women begin their “business” from noon to 6am every day.
Most of the women seen during the day were middle-aged while the young ones appeared at night.
The resident alleged that a group of men, believed to be plainclothes policemen, would raid the streets several times a month and round up the foreigners.
“But the women always return after a few days,” he said.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Guess how way if this road?
This road is in front of a school. It is a wo way road? What is the black car doing? Wrong way or pure selfish? Do you that their children will be better?
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