When you catch a guy glancing at you, he's actually wondering what you look like naked.
When a guy bumps into your arm while walking with you, it means your too damn close so back up 3 steps.
When a guy wants a hug he'll go to the nudy bar and buy a lap dance.
When u break a guys heart he won't even remember your name 3 days later.
When a guy is quiet, he's probably masturbating.
When a guy is not arguing, it means there are no women around.
When a guy looks at you with eyes full of questions, he's wondering what the hell are you blabbering about now.
When a guy answers, "I'm fine," after a few seconds, he's fine.
When a guy stares at you, he's wondering if he slept with you before.
When a guy lays his head on your chest, well... that's self explanatory.
When a guy says, "I miss you," it means the scope on his rifle wasn't set properly.
When a guy says he can't live without you, he's really horny and knows that's what you want to hear.
When a guy is mean to you after a break-up, it's because you don't know when to let go and move on - so quit being such a clingy bitch.