Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Some thing juicy and different.....

Ha ha ha Sex sold in food court........ How do they do it? A blowjob on the table or sex on the chair????? Not exactlylah. The women are convassing for customers for sex in the food court area only.ha ha ha ha......Not opening a stall and providing sex.

Sex sold at food court
FOREIGN women have been using food courts in Jalan Gelang, off Jalan Loke Yew, in Kuala Lumpur to solicit for sex.
A Sin Chew Daily special investigative team discovered that the women also walk the streets to look for potential customers.
The women bring their customers to nearby flats to have sex.
Each “session” costs customers between RM100 and RM150, regardless of the woman’s age, the daily reported.
According to a resident at the flat, the women begin their “business” from noon to 6am every day.
Most of the women seen during the day were middle-aged while the young ones appeared at night.
The resident alleged that a group of men, believed to be plainclothes policemen, would raid the streets several times a month and round up the foreigners.
“But the women always return after a few days,” he said.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Natural Cancer KILLER - 10,000 times stronger than Chemo and more.....

Natural Cancer KILLER - 10,000 times stronger than Chemo and more.....

How many people died in vain while this billion-dollar drug maker concealed the secret of the miraculous Graviola tree?

If there ever was a single example that makes it dramatically clear why the existence of Health Sciences Institute is so vital to Americans like you, it's the incredible story behind the Graviola tree.

The truth is stunningly simple: Deep within the Amazon Rainforest grows a tree that could literally revolutionize what you, your doctor, and the rest of the world thinks about cancer treatment and chances of survival. The future has never looked more promising.

Research shows that with extracts from this miraculous tree it now may be possible to...

  • Attack cancer safely and effectively with an all-natural therapy that does not cause extreme nausea, weight loss and hair loss

  • Protect your immune system and avoid deadly infections

  • Feel stronger and healthier throughout the course of the treatment

  • Boost your energy and improve your outlook on life

The source of this information is just as stunning:

It comes from one of America 's largest drug manufacturers, the fruit of over 20 laboratory tests conducted since the 1970's! What those tests revealed was nothing short of mind numbing... Extracts from the tree were shown to:

  • Effectively target and kill malignant cells in 12 types of cancer, including colon, breast, prostate, lung and pancreatic cancer.

  • The tree compounds proved to be up to 10,000 times stronger in slowing the growth of cancer cells than Adriamycin, a commonly used chemotherapeutic drug!

  • What's more, unlike chemotherapy, the compound extracted from the Graviola tree selectively hunts down and kills only cancer cells. It does not harm healthy cells!

The amazing anti-cancer properties of the Graviola tree have been extensively researched--so why haven't you heard anything about it? If Graviola extract is as half as promising as it appears to be--why doesn't every single oncologist at every major hospital insist on using it on all his or her patients?

The spine-chilling answer illustrates just how easily our health--and for many, our very lives(!)--are controlled by money and power.

Graviola--the plant that worked too well

One of America 's biggest billion-dollar drug makers began a search for a cancer cure and their research centered on Graviola, a legendary healing tree from the Amazon Rainforest.

Various parts of the Graviola tree--including the bark, leaves, roots, fruit and fruit-seeds--have been used for centuries by medicine men and native Indians in South America to treat heart disease, asthma, liver problems and arthritis. Going on very little documented scientific evidence, the company poured money and resources into testing the tree's anti-cancerous properties--and were shocked by the results. Graviola proved itself to be a cancer-killing dynamo.

But that's where the Graviola story nearly ended.

The company had one huge problem with the Graviola tree--it's completely natural, and so, under federal law, not patentable. There's no way to make serious profits from it.

It turns out the drug company invested nearly seven years trying to synthesize two of the Graviola tree's most powerful anti-cancer ingredients. If they could isolate and produce man-made clones of what makes the Graviola so potent, they'd be able to patent it and make their money back. Alas, they hit a brick wall. The original simply could not be replicated. There was no way the company could protect its profits--or even make back the millions it poured into research.

As the dream of huge profits evaporated, their testing on Graviola came to a screeching halt. Even worse, the company shelved the entire project and chose not to publish the findings of its research!

Luckily, however, there was one scientist from the Graviola research team whose conscience wouldn't let him see such atrocity committed. Risking his career, he contacted a company that's dedicated to harvesting medical plants from the Amazon Rainforest and blew the whistle.

Miracle unleashed

When researchers at the Health Sciences Institute were alerted to the news of Graviola, they began tracking the research done on the cancer-killing tree. Evidence of the astounding effectiveness of Graviola--and its shocking cover-up--came in fast and furious...

...The National Cancer Institute performed the first scientific research in 1976.. The results showed that Graviola's "leaves and stems were found effective in attacking and destroying malignant cells." Inexplicably, the results were published in an internal report and never released to the public...

...Since 1976, Graviola has proven to be an immensely potent cancer killer in 20 independent laboratory tests, yet no double-blind clinical trials--the typical benchmark mainstream doctors and journals use to judge a treatment's value--were ever initiated...

...A study published in the Journal of Natural Products, following a recent study conducted at Catholic University of South Korea stated that one chemical in Graviola was found to selectively kill colon cancer cells at "10,000 times the potency of (the commonly used chemotherapy drug) Adriamycin..."

...The most significant part of the Catholic University of South Korea report is that Graviola was shown to selectively target the cancer cells, leaving healthy cells untouched. Unlike chemotherapy, which indiscriminately targets all actively reproducing cells (such as stomach and hair cells), causing the often devastating side effects of nausea and hair loss in cancer patients.

...A study at Purdue University recently found that leaves from the Graviola tree killed cancer cells among six human cell lines and were especially effective against prostate, pancreatic and lung cancers...

Seven years of silence broken--it's finally here!

A limited supply of Graviola extract, grown and harvested by indigenous people in Brazil , is finally available in America . The full Graviola story--including where you can get it and how to use it--is included in Beyond Chemotherapy: New Cancer Killers, Safe as Mother's Milk, a Health Sciences Institute FREE special bonus report on natural substances that will effectively revolutionize the fight against cancer. This crucial report (along with five more FREE reports) is yours ABSOLUTELY FREE with a new membership to the Health Sciences Institute. It's just one example of how absolutely vital each report from the Institute can be to your life and those of your loved ones.

From breakthrough cancer and heart research and revolutionary Amazon Rainforest herbology to world-leading anti-aging research and nutritional medicine, every monthly Health Sciences Institute Member's Alert puts in your hands today cures the rest of America --including your own doctor(!)--is likely to find out only ten years from now. You need the Health Sciences Institute in your life because you and your loved ones deserve to know--and you deserve to know it NOW!!

Why women in China do not get breast cancer

The article is too long, if you've no time to read all, just read the bottom 1/3.

Why women in China do not get breast cancer

Extracted from Your Life in Your Hands, by Professor Jane Plant.

I had no alternative but to die or to try to find a cure for myself. I am a scientist - surely there was a rational explanation for this cruel illness that affects one in 12 women in the UK ? I had suffered the loss of one breast, and undergone radiotherapy. I was now receiving painful chemotherapy, and had been seen by some of the country's most eminent specialists. But, deep down, I felt certain I was facing death. I had a loving husband, a beautiful home and two young children to care for. I desperately wanted to live. Fortunately, this desire drove me to unearth the facts, some of which were known only to a handful of scientists at the time. Anyone who has come into contact with breast cancer will know that certain risk factors - such as increasing age, early onset of womanhood, late onset of menopause and a family history of breast cancer - are completely out of our control. But there are many risk factors, which we can control easily. These 'controllable' risk factors readily translate into simple changes that we can all make in our day-to-day lives to help prevent or treat breast cancer. My message is that even advanced breast cancer can be overcome because I have done it. The first clue to understanding what was promoting my breast cancer came when my husband Peter, who was also a scientist, arrived back from working in China while I was being plugged in for a chemotherapy session. He had brought with him cards and letters, as well as some amazing herbal suppositories, sent by my friends and science colleagues in China . The suppositories were sent to me as a cure for breast cancer. Despite the awfulness of the situation, we both had a good belly laugh, and I remember saying that this was the treatment for breast cancer in China , then it was little wonder that Chinese women avoided getting the disease. Those words echoed in my mind..... Why didn't Chinese women in China get breast cancer? I had collaborated once with Chinese colleagues on a study of links between soil chemistry and disease, and I remembered some of the statistics. The disease was virtually non-existent throughout the whole country. Only one in 10,000 women in China will die from it, compared to that terrible figure of one in 12 in Britain and the even grimmer average of one in 10 across most Western countries. It is not just a matter of China being a more rural country, with less urban pollution. In highly urbanized Hong Kong , the rate rises to 34 women in every 10,000 but still puts the West to shame. The Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki have similar rates. And remember, both cities were attacked with nuclear weapons, so in addition to the usual pollution-related cancers, one would also expect to find some radiation-related cases, too. The conclusion we can draw from these statistics strikes you with some force. If a Western woman were to move to industrialized, irradiated Hiroshima , she would slash her risk of contracting breast cancer by half. Obviously, this is absurd. It seemed obvious to me that some lifestyle factor not related to pollution, urbanization or the environment is seriously increasing the Western woman's chance of contracting breast cancer. I then discovered that whatever causes the huge differences in breast cancer rates between oriental and Western countries, it isn't genetic. Scientific research showed that when Chinese or Japanese people move to the West, within one or two generations their rates of breast cancer approach those of their host community. The same thing happens when oriental people adopt a completely Western lifestyle in Hong Kong .. In fact, the slang name for breast cancer in China translates as 'Rich Woman's Disease'. This is because, in China , only the better off can afford to eat what is termed ' Hong Kong food'. The Chinese describe all Western food, including everything from ice cream and chocolate bars to spaghetti and feta cheese, as 'Hong Kong food', because of its availability in the former British colony and its scarcity, in the past, in mainland China . So it made perfect sense to me that whatever was causing my breast cancer and the shockingly high incidence in this country generally, it was almost certainly something to do with our better-off, middle-class, Western lifestyle. There is an important point for men here, too. I have observed in my research that much of the data about prostate cancer leads to similar conclusions. According to figures from the World Health Organization, the number of men contracting prostate cancer in rural China is negligible, only 0.5 men in every 100,000. In England , Scotland and Wales , however, this figure is 70 times higher. Like breast cancer, it is a middle-class disease that primarily attacks the wealthier and higher socio-economic groups ¨C those that can afford to eat rich foods. I remember saying to my husband, 'Come on Peter, you have just come back from China . What is it about the Chinese way of life that is so different?' Why don't they get breast cancer?' We decided to utilize our joint scientific backgrounds and approach it logically. We examined scientific data that pointed us in the general direction of fats in diets. Researchers had discovered in the 1980s that only l4% of calories in the average Chinese diet were from fat, compared to almost 36% in the West. But the diet I had been living on for years before I contracted breast cancer was very low in fat and high in fibre. Besides, I knew as a scientist that fat intake in adults has not been shown to increase risk for breast cancer in most investigations that have followed large groups of women for up to a dozen years. Then one day something rather special happened. Peter and I have worked together so closely over the years that I am not sure which one of us first said: 'The Chinese don't eat dairy produce!' It is hard to explain to a non-scientist the sudden mental and emotional 'buzz' you get when you know you have had an important insight. It's as if you have had a lot of pieces of a jigsaw in your mind, and suddenly, in a few seconds, they all fall into place and the whole picture is clear. Suddenly I recalled how many Chinese people were physically unable to tolerate milk, how the Chinese people I had worked with had always said that milk was only for babies, and how one of my close friends, who is of Chinese origin, always politely turned down the cheese course at dinner parties. I knew of no Chinese people who lived a traditional Chinese life who ever used cow or other dairy food to feed their babies. The tradition was to use a wet nurse but never, ever, dairy products. Culturally, the Chinese find our Western preoccupation with milk and milk products very strange. I remember entertaining a large delegation of Chinese scientists shortly after the ending of the Cultural Revolution in the 1980s.. On advice from the Foreign Office, we had asked the caterer to provide a pudding that contained a lot of ice cream. After inquiring what the pudding consisted of, all of the Chinese, including their interpreter, politely but firmly refused to eat it, and they could not be persuaded to change their minds. At the time we were all delighted and ate extra portions! Milk, I discovered, is one of the most common causes of food allergies. Over 70% of the world's population are unable to digest the milk sugar, lactose, which has led nutritionists to believe that this is the normal condition for adults, not some sort of deficiency. Perhaps nature is trying to tell us that we are eating the wrong food. Before I had breast cancer for the first time, I had eaten a lot of dairy produce, such as skimmed milk, low-fat cheese and yoghurt. I had used it as my main source of protein. I also ate cheap but lean minced beef, which I now realized was probably often ground-up dairy cow. In order to cope with the chemotherapy I received for my fifth case of cancer, I had been eating organic yoghurts as a way of helping my digestive tract to recover and repopulate my gut with 'good' bacteria. Recently, I discovered that way back in 1989 yoghurt had been implicated in ovarian cancer. Dr Daniel Cramer of Harvard University studied hundreds of women with ovarian cancer, and had them record in detail what they normally ate. Wish I'd been made aware of his findings when he had first discovered them. Following Peter's and my insight into the Chinese diet, I decided to give up not just yoghurt but all dairy produce immediately. Cheese, butter, milk and yoghurt and anything else that contained dairy produce - it went down the sink or in the rubbish. It is surprising how many products, including commercial soups, biscuits and cakes, contain some form of dairy produce. Even many proprietary brands of margarine marketed as soya, sunflower or olive oil spreads can contain dairy produce. I therefore became an avid reader of the small print on food labels. Up to this point, I had been steadfastly measuring the progress of my fifth cancerous lump with callipers and plotting the results. Despite all the encouraging comments and positive feedback from my doctors and nurses, my own precise observations told me the bitter truth. My first chemotherapy sessions had produced no effect - the lump was still the same size. Then I eliminated dairy products. Within days, the lump started to shrink ! About two weeks after my second chemotherapy session and one week after giving up dairy produce, the lump in my neck started to itch. Then it began to soften and to reduce in size. The line on the graph, which had shown no change, was now pointing downwards as the tumour got smaller and smaller. And, very significantly, I noted that instead of declining exponentially (a graceful curve) as cancer is meant to do, the tumour's decrease in size was plotted on a straight line heading off the bottom of the graph, indicating a cure, not suppression (or remission) of the tumour. One Saturday afternoon after about six weeks of excluding all dairy produce from my diet, I practised an hour of meditation then felt for what was left of the lump. I couldn't find it.. Yet I was very experienced at detecting cancerous lumps - I had discovered all five cancers on my own. I went downstairs and asked my husband to feel my neck. He could not find any trace of the lump either. On the following Thursday I was due to be seen by my cancer specialist at Charing Cross Hospital in London . He examined me thoroughly, especially my neck where the tumour had been. He was initially bemused and then delighted as he said, 'I cannot find it.' None of my doctors, it appeared, had expected someone with my type and stage of cancer (which had clearly spread to the lymph system) to survive, let alone be so hale and hearty. My specialist was as overjoyed as I was. When I first discussed my ideas with him he was understandably skeptical. But I understand that he now uses maps showing cancer portality in China in his lectures, and recommends a non-dairy diet to his cancer patients. I now believe that the link between dairy produce and breast cancer is similar to the link between smoking and lung cancer. I believe that identifying the link between breast cancer and dairy produce, and then developing a diet specifically targeted at maintaining the health of my breast and hormone system, cured me. It was difficult for me, as it may be for you, to accept that a substance as 'natural' as milk might have such ominous health implications. But I am a living proof that it works and, starting from tomorrow, I shall reveal the secrets of my revolutionary action plan. Extracted from Your Life in

Your Hands, by Professor Jane Plant.

1) Only one in 10,000 women in China will die from breast cancer.
2) The Chinese do not eat dairy produce!
3) Observation : Elimination of dairy products caused the cancerous lump to shrink within days

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Is there no law against vandalism in Malaysia???

Ha ha ha....... need another new law? Is there presently no law against vandalism? ha ha ha I di not think so. In Bolehland it is not the lack of law-lah.... It is the lack of enforcement-lah.....

Lee: We need an Anti-Vandalism Act
PETALING JAYA: Vandalism cannot be tackled via education alone but must be backed by stringent legislation and strong enforcement, says a social activist.
“An Anti-Vandalism Act should be introduced to allow deterrent punishment and compulsory community service,” Tan Sri Lee Lam Thye Lee said Sunday.
He suggested the proposed law include provisions for community service, the number of hours to be determined by the relevant authorities, and a jail term of not more than three years, and caning for habitual offenders (more than three times), subject to the Criminal Procedure Code.
“Hardly a week passes without reports in the media about some form of vandalism being committed on public telephones, road signs, street lighting, parks, flats and other public amenities,” he said in a statement.
Though vandalism in Malaysia was not as severe as in countries in the West, the quantum of damage caused rendered it a serious problem that must be tackled effectively, said the vice-chairman of the Malaysian Crime Prevention Foundation.
“As it is difficult for the authorities to nab the culprits red-handed, members of the public can make a citizen’s arrest on those caught in the act of vandalism and hand them over to the authorities,” he added.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Diarrhoea remedy

Recieved email from a friend. The source of email is unknown. Anyway if the remedy works why not just try. I have not try the remedy yet but will if I have Diarrhoea. Thanks to who ever the source is.

Diarrhoea remedy
When someone gets diarrhoea, sometimes the solution is so easy, we wonder why anyone has to suffer. The secret is in rice water.

This is already known in this region. Ask your maids -- Sri Lankan, Indonesian, Filipina and they would know about it. (My mother) knew about it. When Dr Albert Winsemius came to Singapore for a farewell and thank you dinner in his honour, he brought along his wife Aly and his granddaughter, Jolijn. Both women came down with very bad gastroenteritis. They saw the doctor who gave them medication. It was slow to work.

Mother boiled some rice in lots of water and went to their hotel with two 1.5L bottles of rice water. I cringed in shame at the offer of this folk remedy, which seemed so primitive to me. Never heard of this cure before. To my surprise, it worked, and they were even able to go out for dinner the next day. Both were exclaiming how the rice water did the trick of making them well again. Well, lucky it worked, I thought to myself.

I was discussing this some years back with Kim Ng, the ex-matron of KK Hospital. She said, yes, that is what Professor Wong Hock Boon, the notable paediatrician teaches. I was shocked and made some comment how could he? It was common knowledge so what had he to do with it? Many months later, I regretted laughing at it. Dr Christina Shanta Emmanuel, who is the CEO of...uh, which group I have forgotten. Either National Health Group, or Polyclinics, or whatever.. regarded me seriously when I brought up the topic like it was good fun. She said that Prof Wong Hock Boon had presented a paper on it. At some conference. After he had done clinical trials.

Then his results were published in the Lancet, the Medical Journal all doctors read. In fact, said Shanta, he was credited for saving the lives of 2 million African babies by this method.

Ah, so! I am impressed.

It is rice water and not rice, that does the trick. I have found it effective again and again. You take a handful of rice and boil it in a large saucepan with lots of water. Like three or four large glasses. Then you cool that and drink the water. If you are in a hurry to relieve the ailing person, take the saucepan off the fire and dunk it in a frying pan or basin of cool water with ice cubes if necessary.

This gives the patient a chance to drink the rice water sooner and cure himself or herself sooner.

When drinking the rice water, make sure there is lots of it. You have to tell the patient that enough water must go in to line your guts from throat to other end, all 10 to 12 metres of it. If you take rice, it stays in the stomach. If you take broth, some of it may go into the small intestine.

But if you take rice water, it will carry rice grains to every inch of your small and large intestine to the end where the problem is.

Sunday, June 07, 2009

Potong Zaka: Read this - Ha! Ha! Ha!

Potong Zaka: Read this - Ha! Ha! Ha!

Two old friends - a Chinaman and a Malay were having a conversation recently ....

Apek: Lu potong zaka ada bagut ka?

Ali: Manyak bagus. Bila lu potong haa, lu punya barang manyak bersih loo...

Apek: err ... saya kawan ala cakap, potong zaka aaahh.... manyak ploblem..

Ali: Apa problem?

Apek: Manyak buang lui, lagi aah... dia punya performance tadak bagut... manyak cinang semputloh ...

Ali: Cehh... apek, lu apa cerita... saya suda lama potong. tada apa problem... bini saya manyak puas woo...

Apek: Lu mini puas sama itu potong zaka ka?

Ali: Ya laa.. Bila lu potong aahh... lagi sedap main woo.. lu lagi lambat pancut..

Apek: err... lu punya 1.3 atau 1.5??

Ali: woi apek cakap baik2 sikit ha ... saya punya 6 inci laa..

Apek: Tiu nia ma... lu jangan main2 haa... mana ada potong zaka 6 inci..

Ali: Cilaka apek ni...nah tengok (opens his trousers).

Apek: Chee sin punya olang......gua tanya baik2 ... lu tunjuk lupunya lanchiau..

Ali: Abis... lu tada percaya..saya tunjuk la..

Apek: Saya tadak tanya sama lu punya lanchiau.... Saya tanya lu pasal itu nasional car... potong zaka.. bolo punya olang..

Ali: Aiya... apek... lain kali lu sebut betul2 la.....kasi susa saja..................

...................Bukan potong zaka la.....

Proton Saga.......lah

Danger of communicating in diff wavelength

In New Delhi , Mr. Sharma comes homes one night, and his wifethrows her arms around his neck: "I have great news: I'm amonth overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! Thedoctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure,we can't tell anybody".

The next day, Mrs. Sharma receives a telephone call from DEB(Delhi Electric Board) because the electricity bill has notbeen paid.

"Am I speaking to Mrs Sharma?


DEB Guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"

"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.

"Well, maam, it's in our files!" says the DEB guy.

"What are you saying? It's in your files....HOW????

"Yes.... we have a system of finding out who's overdue"

"Oh my Goodness!!!!! This is too much....."

"Madam, I am sorry...... I am following orders. I have toinform you are overdue".

"I know that.... Let me talk to my husband about thistonight. He will speak to your company tomorrow"

That night, she tells her husband about the call, and he,mad as a bull, rushes to the DEB office the next morning.

"What's going on? You have it on your file that my wife isone month overdue? "What business is that of yours?" thehusband shouts.

"Just calm down, "says the lady at the reception at DEB,"it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."

"PAY you? And if I refuse?"

"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cutyours off."

"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.

"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle!"

Recession Updates

Recession Updates

1. Ali Baba and the forty thieves are now Ali Baba and the thirtythieves. Ten were laid off!!

2. Batman and Robin are now Batman and Pedro. Batman fired Robin andhired Pedro because Pedro was willing to work twice the hours at thesame rate

3. Iron man now "air-pooling" with Superman to save fuel costs.

4. Women finally marrying for love, and not money

5. Q: With the current market turmoil, what's the easiest way to makea small fortune?
A: Start off with a large one.

6. The credit crunch is getting bad isn't it? I mean, I let mybrother borrow $10 a couple of weeks back, it turns out I'm nowAmerica 's third biggest lender.

7. Q: Why have Dubai real estate agents stopped looking out of thewindow in the morning?
A: Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.

8. Q: What's the difference between an American and a Zimbabwean?
A: In a few weeks, nothing.

9. Dow Jones is re-branded as "Down Jones".

10. Quote from a wall street banker: This is worse than divorce. I’velost half of my assets and I still have my wife…!!!!..

Your annual Dementia Test

Your annual Dementia Test HAVE A GO

Your Yearly Dementia Test
It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast,' give up now and do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.

2. Say ' silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World . However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks,' why are you still reading these???If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4.

4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany .) Anyway, during the flight, two engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of 'no man's land' between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany , West Germany , or 'no man's land'?

Answer: You don't bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, 'You don't bury survivors', proceed to the next question.

5. Without using a calculator. You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales . In London , 17 people get on the bus. In Reading , six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon , two people get off and four g et on. In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea , three people get off and five people get on .. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!

PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!



1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women don't know each other

Hotel Bill - an absolute Gem.

A husband and wife are traveling by car from Brisbane to Melbourne.

After almost ten hours on the road, they're too tired to continue and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room,but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.

When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk; hands them a bill for $450.00.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tellsthe clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth $450.00.

When the clerk tells him $450.00 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre that wereavailable for the husband and wife to use.

'But we didn't use them,' the man complains.'Well, they are here, and you could have,' explains the Manager. He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. 'The best entertainers from New York , Hollywood, and Las Vegas perform here,' the Manager says.

'But we didn't go to any of those shows, 'complains the man again.

'Well, we have them, and you could have,' the Manager replies.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentions! The man replies, 'But we didn't use it!'

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a cheque and gives it to the Manager.

The Manager is surprised when he looks at the cheque. 'But sir,' he says, 'this cheque is only made out for $50..00.'

'That's correct,' says the man. 'I charged you $400 for sleeping with my wife.'
'But I didn't!' exclaims the Manager.

'Well, too bad,' the man replies. 'She was here and you could have!'

Saturday, June 06, 2009


Failure is not when your girlfriend leaves you, it's only when you leave her a virgin.


Tension is when wife is pregnant!
Terror is when girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror is when both are pregnant!
Tragedy is when you are not responsible for both!


The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of sperm when mating. Only 10% enters the female. And you always wondered why the sea tasted salty


Why is it that a girl looks down when you say I love you. To see if you really mean it!


Why is sex similar to shaving? Well, because no matter how well you do it today, tomorrow you have to do it again.


Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does.


Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-olympic sex.
Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life Wife:
Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.


The stock markets now are like an old man's dick. Just refusing to rise, and the irony is that everyone is still getting fucked!


This week is Breast Awareness Week. Spread the slogan "We stare because we care!"


The saddest part of a man's body is his balls. The Lord Almighty sentenced them to "Hang Till Death!"


A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs in.
He sees a guy leaping out of the window.
Wife yells: That guy just screwed me twice!
Husband: Twice Why didn't you call me in after he screwed you once
Wife: Because I thought it was you, until he started the second time.


What is the difference between a chicken and a baby Chicken is the result of a sitting hen while the baby is the result of standing cock.

If a bomb bursts in a bra , what would you get Tit-Bits. And if it bursts in a man's underwear Banana split.

What's the difference between a bomb & a condom? In a bomb blast, population decreases & if a condom blasts, population increases.

$40,000 Funeral

Joe died.

His will provided $40,000 for an elaborate funeral.

As the last guests departed the affair, his wife Sharon turned to her oldest and dearest friend.

'Well, I'm sure Joe would be pleased,' she said.

'I'm sure you're right,' replied Brenda, who lowered her voice and leaned in close.

'How much did this really cost?'

'All of it,' said Sharon. 'Forty thousand.'

'No!' Brenda exclaimed. 'I mean, it was very nice, but $40,000?'

Sharon answered, 'The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to church. The whiskey, wine and snacks were another $500. The rest went for the Memorial Stone.'

Brenda computed quickly. '$32,500 for a Memorial Stone? How big is it?'

(See attached)

Singapore Airlines .......joke of the day

Singapore Airlines .......joke of the day

Once upon a time in Singapore , there lived a happy couple, Mr. & Mrs. Ngwith their 3 lovely daughters; Elaine, Ena & Ella.

The 3 daughters were brought up in a prim-and-proper way and when theyreached 20, they were still virgins.Years passed, and it was time to get them married.

So, the parents found them the most suitable " leng chais" (handsomeguys).They got married and were preparing to set-off on their honeymoon.

As "concerned" (more like "kay-poh") parents, Mr.& Mrs. Ng were curiousabout their daughters' first-night experience.So, before the daughters went on their respective honeymoons,Mrs. Ng told them......" Your father and I want to know about your 1st night encounters andwhether you are satisfied.Write a letter to us, but as not to raise your husbands' curiosity...you all must use codes to describe your experiences".

So, the excited daughters were off.A week passed. Mr. & Mrs. Ng got the first letter.

It was from Elaine.They opened the letter and found the word STANDARD CHARTERED.They immediately took the newspaper and looked for the StandardChartered advertisement."Ah! here it is!", exclaimed Mr. Ng.The motto for Standard Chartered was.... "BIG, STRONG & FRIENDLY"Mr & Mrs. Ng were happy.

A week later, they got another letter. This time it was from Ena.The content was simple. "NESCAFE".So, again they took the newspaper and looked for the Nescafe ad."Ah! here it is."NESCAFE: PLEASURE TILL THE LAST DROP".Mr. & Mrs. Ng beamed with joy.

Another week passed.A month passed.And another.There was still no letter from Ella.The Ngs became worried.

Finally, the letter came.It was scribbled and could hardly be read,but Mrs. Ng managed to figure it out.
The code-name was " SINGAPORE AIRLINES".

Why Singapore Airlines?Mr.Ng rushed to the nearest store and got a newspaper.He flipped the pages frantically."Ah! Here it is!"Mrs. Ng grabbed the page and read aloud.Before she could finish ...THUMP!!!...she fell off her chair.

The motto was ..."7 TIMES A WEEK, 4 TO 6 TIMES A DAY, NON-STOP".

A fairy tale

Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter, the PRINCESS.
But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.
No matter what;
Anything she touched would melt.
Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.
The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?
He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king, "If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured."
The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth.


The first brought a sword of the finest steel.

But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted, and the prince went away sadly.

The second prince brought diamonds.

He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted. He too was sent away disappointed.

The third prince approached. He told the princess,
"Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there."
The princess did as she was told, though she turned red.

She felt something hard. She held it in her hand.
And it did not melt!!!

The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed. And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.

Question: What was in the prince's pants?
(Scroll down for the answer)

M&M's of course. They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

What were you thinking??

U dirty mind! Have a Great Week n wishing you happiness forever!