Jokes

Failure is not when your girlfriend leaves you, it's only when you leave her a virgin.

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Tension is when wife is pregnant!
Terror is when girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror is when both are pregnant!
Tragedy is when you are not responsible for both!

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The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of sperm when mating. Only 10% enters the female. And you always wondered why the sea tasted salty

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Why is it that a girl looks down when you say I love you. To see if you really mean it!

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Why is sex similar to shaving? Well, because no matter how well you do it today, tomorrow you have to do it again.

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Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does.

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Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-olympic sex.
Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life Wife:
Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.

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The stock markets now are like an old man's dick. Just refusing to rise, and the irony is that everyone is still getting fucked!

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This week is Breast Awareness Week. Spread the slogan "We stare because we care!"

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The saddest part of a man's body is his balls. The Lord Almighty sentenced them to "Hang Till Death!"

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A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs in.
He sees a guy leaping out of the window.
Wife yells: That guy just screwed me twice!
Husband: Twice Why didn't you call me in after he screwed you once
Wife: Because I thought it was you, until he started the second time.

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What is the difference between a chicken and a baby Chicken is the result of a sitting hen while the baby is the result of standing cock.



If a bomb bursts in a bra , what would you get Tit-Bits. And if it bursts in a man's underwear Banana split.



What's the difference between a bomb & a condom? In a bomb blast, population decreases & if a condom blasts, population increases.