A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
•"Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
•Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
•Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
•Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
•Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
•Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
•Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
•Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
•Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
•Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "But... why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"