I wish to apply for an operation
to make me sterile. My reasons are numerous and after being married for seven
years, and having a child each year, I have come to the conclusion that
contraceptives are absolutely useless.
After getting married I was told
to use the "Rhythm Method." Whilst trying the samba and the tango my wife fell
pregnant, and I ruptured myself doing the Cha-cha.
My doctor then
suggested we use the safe period. At this time we were living with the in-laws
and we had to wait three weeks for a safe period, when the house was empty.
Needless to say this didn't work.
A lady of several years experience
informed us that if we made love while breast-feeding we would be alright. It's
hardly tastes like Coors, but I finished up with clear skin, silky hair and
another child on the way.
Another old wives tale was if my wife jumped
up and down after sex this would prevent pregnancy. After breast-feeding (from
earlier), if my wife jumped up and down she would have ended up with two black
eyes, and even knocked herself unconscious.
I asked a chemist about the
condom. He demonstrated how easy it was to use so I bought a packet. My wife
fell pregnant again, which doesn't surprise me, as I fail to see how a Durex
stretched over the thumb can prevent a baby.
My wife was then supplied
with the coil and after many unsuccessful attempts to fit it we realized that we
had got a left-handed thread and my wife is definitely a right-handed screw.
The Dutch cap came next. We were very hopeful of this as it did not
interfere with our sex life at all. But alas...it did give my wife a severe
headache. We were given the largest size, but it was still too tight across her
Finally we tried the pill. At first it kept falling out, then
we realised we were doing it wrong. My wife started then to put it between her
knees, thus preventing me from getting anywhere near her. This did work for a
while until the night she forgot it....another child resulted.
appreciate my problem: if this operation is unsuccessful I shall have to revert
to oral sex. Although I don't mind just talking about it, it could never be the
same as the real thing.