These days, safe sex isn't just a good idea, it's a matter of life and death. Here are some valuable tips to help you "play it safe"...
Do not blow dealers for crack; blow regular citizens for cash,
then buy the crack directly.
Think about parents' nude bodies during
foreplay; resultant loss of erection will prevent potential unsafe
Don't fall for lines like, "God protects his servants in the clergy
Do not, no matter how much peers may pressure you, allow
anyone to get to third base with you.
Before unsafe sex, think to
yourself what the kids will look like.
Make sure all open sores on penis
have thoroughly dried and scabbed over before use.
When taking four cocks
in the ass, make sure to have an equal amount of cock in your mouth to reduce
the risk of CHI imbalance.
Before fellating anonymous man in back room of
bar, be sure to ask, "You don't have AIDS, do you?"
Douse penis liberally
with D-Con roach spray before penetrating ape.
You CAN get it from
kissing... tear out partner's tongue before any mouth-to-mouth
To prevent radiation exposure, use only lead-based
If you must engage in unsafe sex, take time out before hand to
hope for the best.
Before the use of condoms, unroll completely and check
for any holes.