Last Day On The Job

It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.

As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?" "Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, 'SCREW him. Give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea."

Management jokes

What ever way you are screwed.


Once Pervez Musharraf, Asif Zardari and Nawaz Sharif were travelling in an auto-rickshaw. They met with an accident and all three of them died. An Angel was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death. He asks MUSHARAF and Zardari to go to HEAVEN. But, for Nawaz Sharif, Angel had already decided that he should be sent to HELL.

Nawaz Sharif is not at all happy with this decision. He asks Angel as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc. Then why the differential treatment? He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or pre-conceived notions. Angel agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English test.

MUSHARAF is asked to spell " PAKISTAN " and he does it correctly. Zardari is asked to spell " ENGLAND " and he too passes. It is Nawaz Sharif's turn and he is asked to spell " CZECHOSLOVAKIA ". Nawaz Sharif protests that he doesn't know English. He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus forced to fail with false intent.

Angel then agrees to conduct a written test in Urdu (to give another chance assuming that Nawaz Sharif should at least feel that Urdu would provide an equal platform for all three). MUSHARAF is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". He writes it easily and passes. Zardari is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes. Nawaz Sharif is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR.... ." Tough one. He fails again. Nawaz Sharif is extremely unhappy.

Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't),he now requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history Angel says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not take any more tests. MUSHARAF is asked: "When did Pakistan get Independence ?" He replied "1947" and passed. Zardari is asked "How many people died during the independence struggle?" He gets nervous. Angel asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000 or 300,000. Zardari catches it and says 200,000 and passes. It's Nawaz Sharif's turn now. Angel asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died in the struggle. Nawaz Sharif accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.

Moral of the story: IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE!

Road safety begins in school?????

Road safety begins in school?????