Careful what you tell your foreign staff
To:
The best adult jokes contest 2009 through cellphone texts/smses in U.S.A.
Grand Prize USD50,000.00
Newly wed girl told mom her husband is still a virgin.
Mom asked "How do you know dear?"
Girl replied "Last night, when we made love, his cock was still in plastic cover."
First Prize USD25,000.00
Immigrant Worker: "Sir, me no come to work, me sick."
Boss: " When I am sick, I have sex with my wife - try it."
2 hours later, immigrant worker shows up at work:
"Boss! It worked! Me ok now. You got nice house."
9 Consolation Prizes USD10,000.00 each
1.After sex, a newly-wed wife kept fondling her husband's cock.
Husband asked: "Why? Want to have sex again?"
Wife replied: "No dear, I just admiring your cock. I used to have one before."
2. Women's lives are hard.
Morning, wash clothes.
Noon, hang clothes.
Evening, keep clothes.
Nite, iron clothes.
Midnight, take off clothes.
After midnight, find clothes.
3. Priest lost his chicken and asked during mass:
"Anyone got a cock?"
All men rose.
"I meant anyone seen a cock?"
All women rose.
"I mean anyone seen my cock?"
All nuns rose.
4. A Sad story
A woman's husband died and she had him cremated.
She then blew his ashes into the ocean and said,
"Sweetheart, this is my last blowjob for you."
5. Girl: "Mom what is a penis?"
Mom: "When you become a good girl, you will get one."
Girl: "But mom, what if I am not a good girl?"
Mom: "Then you will get many, dear!"
6. A lawyer who was confused in his mathematics asked his secretary:
"If I give you USD3 million less 17.5%, how much would you take off?"
Secretary: "Everything sir! Dress, Bra, Panties, Everything."
7. Schoolgirl: "I do not want to take the sex Education class."
Teacher: "Why?"
Schoolgirl: "Someone told me that the final exam will be Oral."
8. Two sperms talking on mobile phone.
Ist: "I'm somewhere between the fallopian tube and uterus. Are you close-by?"
2nd: "No boy, I am taking a different route. I am just crossing the tonsils."
9. Scientists have discovered that the lightest thing in the world is a penis.
This is because it can be lifted up even by just a simple thought.
Monday, August 10, 2009
The Day the Penis asked for a Raise
The Day the Penis asked for a Raise
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation..
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
The Response
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the Correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
V. Gina
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation..
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
The Response
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the Correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
V. Gina
THE BROTHEL...
THE BROTHEL...
The madam opened the brothel door in Glasgow and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.
"May I help you sir?" she asked.."I want to see Valerie," the man replied.
"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else", said the madam..
"No, I must see Valerie," he replied.
Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged £5000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand pounds and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left..
The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie. Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row, as she was so expensive.. There were no discounts. The price was still £5000.
Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.
The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.
After their session, Valerie said to the man, "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?"
The man replied, "Edinburgh.""Really", she said. "I have family in Edinburgh."
"I know." the man said. "Your sister died, and I'm her solicitor. I was instructed to deliver your £15,000 inheritance in person."
The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain.
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer
The madam opened the brothel door in Glasgow and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.
"May I help you sir?" she asked.."I want to see Valerie," the man replied.
"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else", said the madam..
"No, I must see Valerie," he replied.
Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged £5000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand pounds and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left..
The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie. Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row, as she was so expensive.. There were no discounts. The price was still £5000.
Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.
The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.
After their session, Valerie said to the man, "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?"
The man replied, "Edinburgh.""Really", she said. "I have family in Edinburgh."
"I know." the man said. "Your sister died, and I'm her solicitor. I was instructed to deliver your £15,000 inheritance in person."
The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain.
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer
BAD THOUGHTS MAKE A BAD BOY..
BAD THOUGHTS MAKE A BAD BOY..
Holy crap…funny stuff!!! Too many favorites…
1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I don't remember what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing........
15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.
16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!
Holy crap…funny stuff!!! Too many favorites…
1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I don't remember what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing........
15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.
16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!
Indian goes shopping...
Indian goes shopping...
An Indian goes to Australia and goes to Woolworths (A grocery store in Australia). He finds cat food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to check out. The Manager gets suspicious.. He thinks that this guy cannot have a cat and will probably feed cat food to his kids. He asks the Indian to show him his cat before he could let him have cat food. The Indian goes home and returns with a cat and gets to buy the cat food.
Next week the Indian finds dog food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of dog food and goes to check out. The Manager again gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy has a cat but he cannot have a dog and he will probably feed dog-food to his kids. He asks the Indian to bring and show him the dog before he can let him have dog food. The Sardar goes home and returns with a dog. He gets to buy the dog food.
Next week the Indian comes to Woolworths with a bag. He asks the manager to put his hand in the bag. The Manager puts his hand in the bag, feels some thing slimy and immediately takes it out. He shouts at the Indian, What the F*** is this? Is this shit you Idiot? The Indian calmly replies, “Yes, and I want to buy toilet paper.”
An Indian goes to Australia and goes to Woolworths (A grocery store in Australia). He finds cat food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to check out. The Manager gets suspicious.. He thinks that this guy cannot have a cat and will probably feed cat food to his kids. He asks the Indian to show him his cat before he could let him have cat food. The Indian goes home and returns with a cat and gets to buy the cat food.
Next week the Indian finds dog food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of dog food and goes to check out. The Manager again gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy has a cat but he cannot have a dog and he will probably feed dog-food to his kids. He asks the Indian to bring and show him the dog before he can let him have dog food. The Sardar goes home and returns with a dog. He gets to buy the dog food.
Next week the Indian comes to Woolworths with a bag. He asks the manager to put his hand in the bag. The Manager puts his hand in the bag, feels some thing slimy and immediately takes it out. He shouts at the Indian, What the F*** is this? Is this shit you Idiot? The Indian calmly replies, “Yes, and I want to buy toilet paper.”
History of the Middle Finger
History of the Middle Finger
Well, now......here's something I never knew before and now that I knowit, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in thehope that they, too, will feel edified.
Isn't history more fun when you know something about it? Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers.
Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as 'plucking the yew' (or 'pluck yew').
Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute!
It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as 'giving the bird.'
IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTETO THE FRENCH TODAY!
And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing.
Well, now......here's something I never knew before and now that I knowit, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in thehope that they, too, will feel edified.
Isn't history more fun when you know something about it? Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers.
Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as 'plucking the yew' (or 'pluck yew').
Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute!
It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as 'giving the bird.'
IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTETO THE FRENCH TODAY!
And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing.
Choosing a wife
Choosing a wife
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of £5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total makeover.. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the £5,000. She gives him back his £5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.
Then he married the one with the biggest tits.
Men are like that, you know.
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of £5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total makeover.. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the £5,000. She gives him back his £5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.
Then he married the one with the biggest tits.
Men are like that, you know.
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
Friday, August 07, 2009
Why why why
I used to live in Taman Tun Dr Ismail some 8 years ago. Very quite and safe place so I thought. I thought that it is a safe place and with the fence around us it would be safe to leave the grill and door open. My wife used to grumble and ask me to lock the grill when in the house. Being stubborn just refused to listen and told her off that it was inconvinent to get in and out of the house and TTDI is very safelah.
One day during the Deepavali Holiday about 7.00 pm, three Chinese men climbed over the fence and robbed us with parang. Just imagine the tremor of all those in the house had gone through. ie me, my wife. my one year old son, the maid and my two brother in laws.
The robbers pushed all in the middle room and tied us all up. Luckly preading, they did not tied up my wife as she said that she had to take care on my son.
They ransacked the whole house and even asked for the pin code of all my ATM card. Later one of the robbers went out to the bank and withdrew the cash with two other guarding.
They managed to get about RM10k. They spent about 2 hours and warned not to call the police only after half an hour.
Do you all think that TTDI is as 'safe' as 8 years ago?
I only wanted to be convinent to come in and out of the house and looks like it is also convinent for the robbers too.
I have learned the hard way and luckly nothing happened to all of us at that time.
It is better be like a trapped bird rather than the 'bird' being eaten by the 'cat'.
Do your part contribute a little for the safety of the neighbourhood.
IT IS BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY.
------------------------------------------------
Like a bird trapped in a cage
I AM writing this to express my displeasure over the recent happenings at my residence of 20 years.
I am a resident of Jalan Datuk Sulaiman Phase 5C in Taman Tun Dr Ismail, Kuala Lumpur. My family and I moved in when the house was ready for occupation in 1989.
Since July 1, the whole row of houses in Jalan Datuk Sulaiman Phase 5C and Phase 5A have been cordoned off by security guards.
This was initiated by a few residents who were robbed of their cars and threatened at knife-point prior to this. They managed to garner the support of most residents along the road to have the service.
Not only did they put blocks at both ends of the road, they also put up gates at three passage points linking us to the next row of houses in Jalan Datuk Sulaiman 3.
By doing so, they have effectively reduced the freedom of movement along this road not only for me and my family but also for those who did not sign up for the service. Unfortunately, this constitutes a small minority (only about five houses but we are the pioneer residents along the road).
Now every time I want to enter or exit my home, I have to get the permission of these guards. The residents who signed up for the service were given car stickers (which gave them instant access) and those without the stickers are stopped and queried. This makes it very difficult for my visitors and regular vendors.
I used to enjoy walks around the whole of Jalan Datuk Sulaiman area but it seems this is not possible any longer. Do these people have the right to cut off access to the paths linking to other roads? Now, I feel like a bird living in a cage.
I would like to know if Kuala Lumpur City Hall has rules about converting residences to a gated community by a majority vote among residents. Remove the gates and replace them with CCTVs if security is an issue.
Having stayed in the same house for two decades, this recent turn of events is something hard to swallow.
LONG-TIME RESIDENT, Taman Tun Dr Ismail
One day during the Deepavali Holiday about 7.00 pm, three Chinese men climbed over the fence and robbed us with parang. Just imagine the tremor of all those in the house had gone through. ie me, my wife. my one year old son, the maid and my two brother in laws.
The robbers pushed all in the middle room and tied us all up. Luckly preading, they did not tied up my wife as she said that she had to take care on my son.
They ransacked the whole house and even asked for the pin code of all my ATM card. Later one of the robbers went out to the bank and withdrew the cash with two other guarding.
They managed to get about RM10k. They spent about 2 hours and warned not to call the police only after half an hour.
Do you all think that TTDI is as 'safe' as 8 years ago?
I only wanted to be convinent to come in and out of the house and looks like it is also convinent for the robbers too.
I have learned the hard way and luckly nothing happened to all of us at that time.
It is better be like a trapped bird rather than the 'bird' being eaten by the 'cat'.
Do your part contribute a little for the safety of the neighbourhood.
IT IS BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY.
------------------------------------------------
Like a bird trapped in a cage
I AM writing this to express my displeasure over the recent happenings at my residence of 20 years.
I am a resident of Jalan Datuk Sulaiman Phase 5C in Taman Tun Dr Ismail, Kuala Lumpur. My family and I moved in when the house was ready for occupation in 1989.
Since July 1, the whole row of houses in Jalan Datuk Sulaiman Phase 5C and Phase 5A have been cordoned off by security guards.
This was initiated by a few residents who were robbed of their cars and threatened at knife-point prior to this. They managed to garner the support of most residents along the road to have the service.
Not only did they put blocks at both ends of the road, they also put up gates at three passage points linking us to the next row of houses in Jalan Datuk Sulaiman 3.
By doing so, they have effectively reduced the freedom of movement along this road not only for me and my family but also for those who did not sign up for the service. Unfortunately, this constitutes a small minority (only about five houses but we are the pioneer residents along the road).
Now every time I want to enter or exit my home, I have to get the permission of these guards. The residents who signed up for the service were given car stickers (which gave them instant access) and those without the stickers are stopped and queried. This makes it very difficult for my visitors and regular vendors.
I used to enjoy walks around the whole of Jalan Datuk Sulaiman area but it seems this is not possible any longer. Do these people have the right to cut off access to the paths linking to other roads? Now, I feel like a bird living in a cage.
I would like to know if Kuala Lumpur City Hall has rules about converting residences to a gated community by a majority vote among residents. Remove the gates and replace them with CCTVs if security is an issue.
Having stayed in the same house for two decades, this recent turn of events is something hard to swallow.
LONG-TIME RESIDENT, Taman Tun Dr Ismail
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Cowboy: Hi what's your name?
Cowboy: Hi what's your name?
Girl: My name is Carol, my friends call me Carmen.
Cowboy:?????
Girl: I just love car & men and the name just stuck.
Cowboy: By the way, my friends call me Beerfuck.
Girl: My name is Carol, my friends call me Carmen.
Cowboy:?????
Girl: I just love car & men and the name just stuck.
Cowboy: By the way, my friends call me Beerfuck.
Story: A Cowboy & A Lesbian
Story: A Cowboy & A Lesbian
An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?
'He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.
'She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women.'
The two sat sipping in silence.A little while later, another man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?
'He replied.....'I ALWAYS THOUGHT I WAS, BUT I JUST FOUND OUT THAT I'M A LESBIAN'.
*****************Story by Jefus*******************
An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?
'He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.
'She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women.'
The two sat sipping in silence.A little while later, another man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?
'He replied.....'I ALWAYS THOUGHT I WAS, BUT I JUST FOUND OUT THAT I'M A LESBIAN'.
*****************Story by Jefus*******************
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Jokes
The best adult jokes contest 2009 through cellphone texts/smses in U.S.A..
Grand Prize USD50,000.00
Newly wed girl told mom her husband is still a virgin.Mom asked "How do you know dear?"Girl replied "Last night, when we made love, his cock was still in plastic cover."
First Prize USD25,000.00Immigrant Worker: "Sir, me no come to work, me sick."Boss: " When I am sick, I have sex with my wife - try it."2 hours later, immigrant worker shows up at work:"Boss! It worked! Me ok now. You got nice house."
9 Consolation Prizes USD10,000.00 each
1. After sex, a newly-wed wife kept fondling her husband's cock.
Husband asked: "Why? Want to have sex again?"
Wife replied: "No dear, I just admiring your cock. I used to have one before."
2. Women's lives are hard.
Morning, wash clothes.
Noon, hang clothes.
Evening, keep clothes.
Nite, iron clothes.
Midnight, take off clothes.
After midnight, find clothes.
3. Priest lost his chicken and asked during mass: "Anyone got a cock?"
All men rose.
"I meant anyone seen a cock?"
All women rose.
"I mean anyone seen my cock?"
All nuns rose.
4. A Sad story
A woman's husband died and she had him cremated.
She then blew his ashes into the ocean and said,
"Sweetheart, this is my last blowjob for you."
5. Girl: "Mom what is a penis?"
Mom: "When you become a good girl, you will get one."
Girl: "But mom, what if I am not a good girl?"
Mom: "Then you will get many, dear!"
6. A lawyer who was confused in his mathematics asked his secretary:
"If I give you USD3 million less 17.5%, how much would you take off?"
Secretary: "Everything sir! Dress, Bra, Panties, Everything."
7. Schoolgirl: "I do not want to take the sex Education class."
Teacher: "Why?"
Schoolgirl: "Someone told me that the final exam will be Oral."
8. Two sperms talking on mobile phone.
Ist: "I'm somewhere between the fallopian tube and uterus. Are you close-by?"
2nd: "No boy, I am taking a different route. I am just crossing the tonsils."
9. Scientists have discovered that the lightest thing in the world is a penis.
This is because it can be lifted up even by just a simple thought.
Source unknown as sent by email by a friend
Grand Prize USD50,000.00
Newly wed girl told mom her husband is still a virgin.Mom asked "How do you know dear?"Girl replied "Last night, when we made love, his cock was still in plastic cover."
First Prize USD25,000.00Immigrant Worker: "Sir, me no come to work, me sick."Boss: " When I am sick, I have sex with my wife - try it."2 hours later, immigrant worker shows up at work:"Boss! It worked! Me ok now. You got nice house."
9 Consolation Prizes USD10,000.00 each
1. After sex, a newly-wed wife kept fondling her husband's cock.
Husband asked: "Why? Want to have sex again?"
Wife replied: "No dear, I just admiring your cock. I used to have one before."
2. Women's lives are hard.
Morning, wash clothes.
Noon, hang clothes.
Evening, keep clothes.
Nite, iron clothes.
Midnight, take off clothes.
After midnight, find clothes.
3. Priest lost his chicken and asked during mass: "Anyone got a cock?"
All men rose.
"I meant anyone seen a cock?"
All women rose.
"I mean anyone seen my cock?"
All nuns rose.
4. A Sad story
A woman's husband died and she had him cremated.
She then blew his ashes into the ocean and said,
"Sweetheart, this is my last blowjob for you."
5. Girl: "Mom what is a penis?"
Mom: "When you become a good girl, you will get one."
Girl: "But mom, what if I am not a good girl?"
Mom: "Then you will get many, dear!"
6. A lawyer who was confused in his mathematics asked his secretary:
"If I give you USD3 million less 17.5%, how much would you take off?"
Secretary: "Everything sir! Dress, Bra, Panties, Everything."
7. Schoolgirl: "I do not want to take the sex Education class."
Teacher: "Why?"
Schoolgirl: "Someone told me that the final exam will be Oral."
8. Two sperms talking on mobile phone.
Ist: "I'm somewhere between the fallopian tube and uterus. Are you close-by?"
2nd: "No boy, I am taking a different route. I am just crossing the tonsils."
9. Scientists have discovered that the lightest thing in the world is a penis.
This is because it can be lifted up even by just a simple thought.
Source unknown as sent by email by a friend
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
New Cheating Scam
Recieved this email from a friend...... please take note.
Hi Friends, this is worth your time reading , so real....!! Thanks CK for this alert... A few days ago, one of my friends received a sms with the message:You've strike 1st prize with a prize moneyof RMB 200,000 cash. The sms came with a contact no. My friend ignored itsince he had heard of too many bogus scamsusing similar tactics.
After a short while his handphone rang, a MissFang asked: "Sir have youreceived a sms telling you that you'vestrike 1st prize?"
My friend answered: "Yes, I have"
Miss Fang: "Please let us have your bank account number so that we can deposit the money into your account."
My friend thought, why not, let's see what you can do. My friend has a buddy who works in that bank. Hence, he gave her his accound number.
Ten minutes later, my friend's handphone started ringing again.
Miss Fang said: "Sir, we have deposited your prize money into youraccount, please check and verify."My friend checked using his handphone and found that RMB 200,000 was really deposited into his account. He was euphoric, just like that and he's RMB 200,000 richer!
30 minutes later, Miss Fang called again.
She was crying: "I'm sorry sir, I made a mistake, I forgot to deduct the tax before I deposited the prize money, 20% of RMB 200,000 equals to RMB40,000. Now the company wants me to reimburse the money.
Can you please return the RMB 40,000 tax? I beg you."
My friend thought for a while and felt pity for the lady. Thinking of the money in his bank account, he went to the bank.
Suddenly he thought of his buddy working in that bank and decided to askhis buddy to double check and confirm for him first.
Upon checking, his buddy found out that the money was deposited using a cheque of a different bank.
Even though the cheque was deposited but the actual amount of money can'tbe transfered into his account on the same day. If the other party decided to cancel the cheque, then he'll not get this RMB 200,000.
My friend was shocked. He almost lost RMB 40,000.
Before my friend left for home on that day, the cheque was actually cancelled. If not for his buddy, if not for him being a professional.or if he was scare of letting others know of striking the prize then this bogus scam would be successful. This is a true story, please beware.
Future scams could be even better planned. Please don't forget to forward to your friends and relatives to warn themfrom being cheated.
Hi Friends, this is worth your time reading , so real....!! Thanks CK for this alert... A few days ago, one of my friends received a sms with the message:You've strike 1st prize with a prize moneyof RMB 200,000 cash. The sms came with a contact no. My friend ignored itsince he had heard of too many bogus scamsusing similar tactics.
After a short while his handphone rang, a MissFang asked: "Sir have youreceived a sms telling you that you'vestrike 1st prize?"
My friend answered: "Yes, I have"
Miss Fang: "Please let us have your bank account number so that we can deposit the money into your account."
My friend thought, why not, let's see what you can do. My friend has a buddy who works in that bank. Hence, he gave her his accound number.
Ten minutes later, my friend's handphone started ringing again.
Miss Fang said: "Sir, we have deposited your prize money into youraccount, please check and verify."My friend checked using his handphone and found that RMB 200,000 was really deposited into his account. He was euphoric, just like that and he's RMB 200,000 richer!
30 minutes later, Miss Fang called again.
She was crying: "I'm sorry sir, I made a mistake, I forgot to deduct the tax before I deposited the prize money, 20% of RMB 200,000 equals to RMB40,000. Now the company wants me to reimburse the money.
Can you please return the RMB 40,000 tax? I beg you."
My friend thought for a while and felt pity for the lady. Thinking of the money in his bank account, he went to the bank.
Suddenly he thought of his buddy working in that bank and decided to askhis buddy to double check and confirm for him first.
Upon checking, his buddy found out that the money was deposited using a cheque of a different bank.
Even though the cheque was deposited but the actual amount of money can'tbe transfered into his account on the same day. If the other party decided to cancel the cheque, then he'll not get this RMB 200,000.
My friend was shocked. He almost lost RMB 40,000.
Before my friend left for home on that day, the cheque was actually cancelled. If not for his buddy, if not for him being a professional.or if he was scare of letting others know of striking the prize then this bogus scam would be successful. This is a true story, please beware.
Future scams could be even better planned. Please don't forget to forward to your friends and relatives to warn themfrom being cheated.
MANGOSTEEN (Garcinia mangostana)
MANGOSTEEN (Garcinia mangostana)
One of the Super Healthy Exotic Fruits The Mangosteen Fruit from Southwest Asia
The Mangosteen (Garcinia mangostana in Latin) plant is a tropical evergreen tree, believed to have originated in the Sunda Islands and the Moluccas. It was first discovered in Burma and Siam (now known as Thailand). The tree grows from 7 to 25 meters tall. This exotic edible Mangosteen fruit is a deep reddish purple when ripe. In Asia, the Mangosteen fruit is known as the "Queen of Fruits".
The Mangosteen tree requires a warm, very humid, equatorial climate all year round. Many people have tried to grow Garcinia mangostana in warm places such as California and Florida or in special greenhouses outside South East Asia, but they experienced little success because of the different environmental factors. The Mangosteen tree requires abundant moisture and only grows well in a tropical environment.
The Mangosteen fruit grown in Thailand is harvested in the season of optimum ripeness for maximum efficacy. The xanthone rich pericarp (the outer rind) is then separated from the pulp and freeze-dried.
The outer shell or rind of the Mangosteen fruit (called the pericarp) is rather hard, typically 4 to 6 centimeters in diameter, resembling a spherical, reddish-black, cartoon-style bomb. By cutting through the shell, one finds a very pale and fleshy fruit 3 to 5 centimeters in diameter. Depending on its size and ripeness, there may or may not be pits in the segments of the fruit. The number of fruit pods is directly related to the number of petals on the bottom of the shell. Commonly, the average Mangosteen will have 5 fruit pods.
The shell of the Mangosteen fruit looks tough and hard, but is easy to open. Care must be taken when opening the fruit, as the reddish-black husk outside produces a purplish, inky juice that stains fabric and can be almost impossible to remove (the reason why they are banned from some hotels in countries where they are available). To open a Mangosteen, the shell is usually broken apart, not cut. Holding the fruit in both hands, press it gently (thumbs on one side, the other fingers on the other) until the shell cracks. It is then very easy to pull the halves apart along the crack and remove the fruit without staining.
One of the most-praised of tropical fruits, and certainly the most-esteemed fruit in the family Guttiferae, the Mangosteen (Garcinia mangostana in Latin) is almost universally known or heard of by this name. But there are numerous variations in nomenclature: among Spanish-speaking people the fruit is called mangostan; to the French it is mangostanier, mangoustanier, mangouste or mangostier; in Portuguese it is mangostao, mangosta or mangusta; in Dutch it is manggis or manggistan; in Vietnamese it is mang cut; in Malaya it may be referred to in any of these languages or by the local terms mesetor, semetah, or sementah; and in the Philippines it is mangis or mangostan. Throughout the Malay Archipelago of Malaysia, there are many different spellings of names for Mangosteen similar to most of those mentioned above.
Health Benefits of Mangosteen Fruit (Garcinia mangostana)
Traditional Medicinal Uses:
For hundreds of years, the people of Southeast Asia have used the Mangosteen, especially the rind (called the pericarp, to ward off and treat infections, reduce pain or control fever, and treat various other ailments.
Dried Mangosteen fruits are shipped from Singapore to Calcutta and to China for medicinal use. The sliced and dried pericarp (rind) is powdered and administered to overcome dysentery. Made into an ointment, it is applied on eczema and other skin disorders.
The rind decoction is taken to relieve diarrhea and cystitis, gonorrhea and gleet, and is applied externally as an astringent lotion. A portion of the rind is steeped in water overnight and the infusion given as a remedy for chronic diarrhea in adults and children.
Filipinos employ a decoction of the leaves and bark as a febrifuge and to treat thrush, diarrhea, dysentery and urinary disorders.
In Malaya an infusion of the Mangosteen leaves, combined with unripe banana and a little benzoin, is applied to the wound of circumcision. A root decoction is taken to regulate female menstruation. A bark extract called amibiasine has been marketed for the treatment of amoebic dysentery.
Modern Medicinal Uses and Health Benefits:
The latest in scientific research shows Mangosteen contains a class of naturally occurring polyphenolic compounds known as xanthones. Xanthones provide beneficial effects on cardiovascular diseases, including ischemic heart disease, atherosclerosis, hypertension, and thrombosis. Xanthones demonstrate particularly powerful antioxidant properties. Xanthones are found in a limited number of rain forest plants, but nowhere are they found in greater abundance than in the rind of the Mangosteen fruit. The medicinal properties of the Mangosteen fruit are derived mainly from its outer rind or peel, not from the fleshy inner part of the fruit. The rind, called the pericarp, is where powerful antioxidants are highly concentrated. The Mangosteen pericarp is about a half-centimeter thick and is green when unripe, then dark purple when ripe.
These unique antioxidants, known as Xanthones, have properties which help to heal cells damaged by free radicals, slow aging, and ward off degenerative diseases and physical and mental deterioration. The rind of partially ripe Mangosteen fruit yields a polyhydroxy-xanthone derivative termed mangostin, also beta-mangostin. That of fully ripe fruits contains the xanthones gartanin, beta-disoxygartanin, and normangostin. According to research reported in professional journals such as Free Radical Research and the Journal of Pharmacology, these amazing Xanthones have a remarkablly beneficial effect on cardiovascular health. They are also naturally antibiotic, antiviral, and anti-inflammatory. Xanthones are among the most powerful antioxidants to be found in nature.
Many of the other health benefits of Xanthones from Mangosteen pericarp can be expressed in terms of how they act against or are "anti" various serious ailments...
anti-fatigue,
anti-obesity,
anti-depression,
anti-anxiety,
anti-vertigo (dizziness),
anti-Alzheimer’s,
anti-Parkinsonism (Parkinson's Disease),
anti-allergenic,
anti-seborrheic (skin disease),
anti-glaucoma (eye disease),
anti-pyretic (anti-fever), anti-diarrhea,
anti-periodontic (gum disease),
anti-pain (such as dental pain),
anti-neuralgia (nerve pain),
anti-arthritis,
anti-inflammatory (act as cox-2 inhibitors like the pharmaceutical drugs Vioxx(tm) and Celebrex(tm), but without the deadly side-effects), and
anti-ulcer (such as ulcers of the stomach, mouth, small bowel, or large bowel).
Some of the Xanthones in the Mangosteen pericarp have powerful anti-inflammatory properties which may be of interest to those who suffer the pain of sciatica and peripheray neuropathy, which cannot be effectively controlled by drug treatments. The amount of Mangosteen consumed per day may need to be increased by two or three times to support pain relief through its anti-inflammatory and cox-2 inhibitor effects.
Mangosteen fruit also shows vasorelaxant properties (causing dilation of blood vessels and increased blood flow).
With Mycobacterium tuberculosis (TB) and Staphylococcus aureus (Staph. A) bacteria, Mangosteen has shown inhibitory action against these harmful bacteria organisms. In addition to its antibacterial properties, Mangosteen fruit also demonstrates strong antifungal properties. It is highly effective in boosting weak immune systems.
There are several compounds found in the Mangosteen that appear to make this fruit so active as a nutritional component for the body.
Research and References NOTES: In the following citations of research studies, the medical term apoptosis refers to "cell death" after a cell has reproduced a certain number of times, then dies naturally (here, it refers to the death of cancer cells). Induction of apoptosis means "initiating apoptosis" of the cancer cells. HIV-1 refers to the AIDS virus. Low density lipoptrotein refers to "LDL cholesterol", the "bad cholesterol" that can form plaque in the arteries and increase the risk of heart disease or death by stroke or heart attack. Jiang, D.J. e. al. Pharmacological effects of xanthones as cardiovascular protective agents. Cardiovascular Drug Reviews, 2004, 22(2):91-102 Antiproliferation, antioxidation and induction of apoptosis by Garcinia mangostana on SKBR3 human breast cancer cell line. J. Ethnopharmacol, 2004 Jan:90(1):161-6 Induction of apoptosis by xanthones from mangosteen in human leukemia cell lines. J. Nat Prod. 2003 Aug;55(8):1124-7 Evaluation of the antifungal activity of natural xanthones from Garcinia mangostana and their synthetic derivatives. J. Nat Prod 1997 May; 60 (5):519-24 Active constituents against HIV-1 protease from Mangosteen. Planta Med 1996 Aug;62(4):381-2 Mangostin inhibits the oxidative modification of human low density lipoprotein. Free radical Research. 1995 Aug.:23(2):175-84
Monday, July 06, 2009
Scoring brownie points....
Just read the news below........... Can you all guest who is trying to score some brownie points for their own political mileages? The news are reported in mainstream newspaper.........
-----------------------------------------------------
Lim making a mountain out of a molehill, says Gerakan
GEORGE TOWN: Chief Minister Lim Guan Eng’s reason for moving into a rented, luxury bungalow because his official residence is infested with termites and fire ants is a “flimsy excuse”, says Gerakan.
Its state Youth vice-chairman H’ng Khoon Leng said Lim was not being transparent on the location of his new residence, tenancy agreement, deposit or the bungalow’s renovation costs.
“If he can’t resolve minor problems plaguing Seri Teratai (Lim’s official residence), how can he govern Penang successfully?” he said in a statement yesterday.
He said Lim should make public the contents of his tenancy agreement, who paid for the renovation costs and when, and the date he was expected to move back to Seri Teratai.
“Lim (Guan Eng) must practise the principle of transparency as advocated by himself. On behalf of Penangites, we seek clarification directly from the Chief Minister.
“Why does he shun publicity on his new, rented, luxury home when he is the head of government and a public figure, and has always craved for publicity?
“His reason about the homeowner wanting privacy is very weak and odd,” he added.
On Saturday Lim’s press secretary Cheong Yin Fan had issued a statement announcing that the Chief Minister had moved out of Seri Teratai, which was found to be unsafe.
He said an inspection carried out by NLC General Pest Control (North) on June 29 had found termite infestation in the building and parts of the roof, as well as the dining hall ceiling, main entrance and the underground air well chamber.
Besides termites, Cheong said, forest ants had also been found.
Lim had appealed to the media not to publish where he was staying to fulfil the house owner’s request for privacy.
He had also instructed the State Secretary’s office and the Public Works Department to conduct a study into the treatment and repair works for Seri Teratai.
He moved into the residence, formerly known as Rumah Tetamu, on June 21, last year.
Lim has refuted claims that he was renovating the house, saying:
“I rented the house. On whether or not it is being renovated, you have to ask the owner.
“I’m sure she must have done some renovation after she bought the place and if she had renovated it, that is her prerogative,” he told reporters after attending the Penang Medical College conferring ceremony in Hotel Equatorial yesterday.
Lim added that the attacks from Gerakan Youth were “undeserving of comment” and declined to say any more on the issue.
-----------------------------------------------------
Lim making a mountain out of a molehill, says Gerakan
GEORGE TOWN: Chief Minister Lim Guan Eng’s reason for moving into a rented, luxury bungalow because his official residence is infested with termites and fire ants is a “flimsy excuse”, says Gerakan.
Its state Youth vice-chairman H’ng Khoon Leng said Lim was not being transparent on the location of his new residence, tenancy agreement, deposit or the bungalow’s renovation costs.
“If he can’t resolve minor problems plaguing Seri Teratai (Lim’s official residence), how can he govern Penang successfully?” he said in a statement yesterday.
He said Lim should make public the contents of his tenancy agreement, who paid for the renovation costs and when, and the date he was expected to move back to Seri Teratai.
“Lim (Guan Eng) must practise the principle of transparency as advocated by himself. On behalf of Penangites, we seek clarification directly from the Chief Minister.
“Why does he shun publicity on his new, rented, luxury home when he is the head of government and a public figure, and has always craved for publicity?
“His reason about the homeowner wanting privacy is very weak and odd,” he added.
On Saturday Lim’s press secretary Cheong Yin Fan had issued a statement announcing that the Chief Minister had moved out of Seri Teratai, which was found to be unsafe.
He said an inspection carried out by NLC General Pest Control (North) on June 29 had found termite infestation in the building and parts of the roof, as well as the dining hall ceiling, main entrance and the underground air well chamber.
Besides termites, Cheong said, forest ants had also been found.
Lim had appealed to the media not to publish where he was staying to fulfil the house owner’s request for privacy.
He had also instructed the State Secretary’s office and the Public Works Department to conduct a study into the treatment and repair works for Seri Teratai.
He moved into the residence, formerly known as Rumah Tetamu, on June 21, last year.
Lim has refuted claims that he was renovating the house, saying:
“I rented the house. On whether or not it is being renovated, you have to ask the owner.
“I’m sure she must have done some renovation after she bought the place and if she had renovated it, that is her prerogative,” he told reporters after attending the Penang Medical College conferring ceremony in Hotel Equatorial yesterday.
Lim added that the attacks from Gerakan Youth were “undeserving of comment” and declined to say any more on the issue.
What is the problem with this?
Ha ha ha..... jealous lah not invited to the karaoke sessions. Ha ha ha ha is this possible. Singing in the girls hostel at night.....
First if there is a karaoke machine in the hostel all the students in the school will know and secondly if the is karaoke singing at night the whole neighbourhood will know because of the noise. This is becos the hostel rooms are not sound proof and if you sing softly mana ada kick.
If I were the hostel warden if not invited sure make noiselah.... I do not think the warden and other girls are asleep at 9.00pm. If not sure complaint or join in lah.......
Something just defy logic........
---------------------------------------------------
PTA wants probe into karaoke-singing principal
PASIR PUTEH: Parents from a secondary school here want the authorities to probe claims that its principal has been holding karaoke sessions with female students at the girls’ hostel.
SM Tok Janggut Parent-Teacher Association chairman Datuk Mohd Jelani Jaafar said it had received numerous complaints on the matter, some of which were from the teachers themselves, and forwarded them to the district education office for further action.
He was commenting on reports that a female student was suspended from the hostel for a month after reporting the principal’s conduct to the school’s senior assistant for student affairs.
The student had claimed that she saw the principal frequenting the girls’ hostel between 9pm and 1am for karaoke sessions.
Mohd Jelani said that if the claims were true, it could tarnish the image of other principals and affect the students’ academic performance. — Bernama
First if there is a karaoke machine in the hostel all the students in the school will know and secondly if the is karaoke singing at night the whole neighbourhood will know because of the noise. This is becos the hostel rooms are not sound proof and if you sing softly mana ada kick.
If I were the hostel warden if not invited sure make noiselah.... I do not think the warden and other girls are asleep at 9.00pm. If not sure complaint or join in lah.......
Something just defy logic........
---------------------------------------------------
PTA wants probe into karaoke-singing principal
PASIR PUTEH: Parents from a secondary school here want the authorities to probe claims that its principal has been holding karaoke sessions with female students at the girls’ hostel.
SM Tok Janggut Parent-Teacher Association chairman Datuk Mohd Jelani Jaafar said it had received numerous complaints on the matter, some of which were from the teachers themselves, and forwarded them to the district education office for further action.
He was commenting on reports that a female student was suspended from the hostel for a month after reporting the principal’s conduct to the school’s senior assistant for student affairs.
The student had claimed that she saw the principal frequenting the girls’ hostel between 9pm and 1am for karaoke sessions.
Mohd Jelani said that if the claims were true, it could tarnish the image of other principals and affect the students’ academic performance. — Bernama
Thursday, July 02, 2009
Adult Jokes
Adult Jokes
A judge asked a woman on why she wanted a divorce..
She answered, "Your Honor, he knew I'm a vegetarian and yet he still insists on putting his meat in my mouth."
Woman: "Doc, an ant entered my vagina, can you please take it out".
Doctor removes her panties and start making love.
Woman: "What are you doing?" Doctor: "This is the only way to drown the bastard!"
Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
Answer: Your SALARY. It comes once a month last 3 - 4 days & if it doesn't come you are in deep trouble!
A lady visited her doctor again, Dr. said: U look more sick & exhausted then before.
Are u having 3 meals a day as I advised?
Lady: WHAT? I thought U said 3 MALES a day!!!!
Women asked God to make The Penis Pretty.
GOD Said "No way; Now As It Is, The Penis is so ugly & U still Suck It.
If I make it Pretty You'll Eat It up!!
A nun went 4 a urine test.
The sample got mixed up.
When the doctor told her she was pregnant.
She cried n said, "Shit, we can't even trust cucumber anymore.!"
A boy pulls down his pants in front of a girl & asked " Do U have this? "
The girl lifted up her skirt & said, "
My mom said with this I can have a lot of THAT!"
Schoolgirl: "I do not want to take the SEX EDUCATION".
Class Teacher: " Why not?"
Schoolgirl: "Someone told me the FINAL EXAM would be ORAL!"
Mother asks daughter, how is married life? Daughter shyly says like BRITISH AIRWAYS. Mother reads the advertisement & is shocked. It says " 7 DAYS A WEEK,TWICE A DAY, BOTH WAYS!
What is the STRONGEST muscle?
TONGUE - It can raise a woman's hip with just one lick!. The lightest muscle?
PENIS! It can be raised by a woman's tongue!
Lady Immigration officer asked a Korean tourist: Name? Park Yu..
The 0fficer become angry & shouted back: FUCK YOU! Now what's your full name?
Korean replied: PARK YU TOO!!
Man to wife: Business is bad, if u learn how to cook we can remove servant.
Wife: ASSHOLE! If u learn how to fuck, we can remove driver, gardener & watchman...
COCK say to his two BALLS: I am going to take you with me to a party.
BALLS said: You big fucking liar.
You always get INSIDE and leave us waiting OUTSIDE!
A baby dog asked mama dog how papa look like?
Mama dog reply: How I know. Your papa came from behind & I didn't have chance to see his face" !
What's the difference between stress, tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, PANIC is when both are pregnant!
A judge asked a woman on why she wanted a divorce..
She answered, "Your Honor, he knew I'm a vegetarian and yet he still insists on putting his meat in my mouth."
Woman: "Doc, an ant entered my vagina, can you please take it out".
Doctor removes her panties and start making love.
Woman: "What are you doing?" Doctor: "This is the only way to drown the bastard!"
Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
Answer: Your SALARY. It comes once a month last 3 - 4 days & if it doesn't come you are in deep trouble!
A lady visited her doctor again, Dr. said: U look more sick & exhausted then before.
Are u having 3 meals a day as I advised?
Lady: WHAT? I thought U said 3 MALES a day!!!!
Women asked God to make The Penis Pretty.
GOD Said "No way; Now As It Is, The Penis is so ugly & U still Suck It.
If I make it Pretty You'll Eat It up!!
A nun went 4 a urine test.
The sample got mixed up.
When the doctor told her she was pregnant.
She cried n said, "Shit, we can't even trust cucumber anymore.!"
A boy pulls down his pants in front of a girl & asked " Do U have this? "
The girl lifted up her skirt & said, "
My mom said with this I can have a lot of THAT!"
Schoolgirl: "I do not want to take the SEX EDUCATION".
Class Teacher: " Why not?"
Schoolgirl: "Someone told me the FINAL EXAM would be ORAL!"
Mother asks daughter, how is married life? Daughter shyly says like BRITISH AIRWAYS. Mother reads the advertisement & is shocked. It says " 7 DAYS A WEEK,TWICE A DAY, BOTH WAYS!
What is the STRONGEST muscle?
TONGUE - It can raise a woman's hip with just one lick!. The lightest muscle?
PENIS! It can be raised by a woman's tongue!
Lady Immigration officer asked a Korean tourist: Name? Park Yu..
The 0fficer become angry & shouted back: FUCK YOU! Now what's your full name?
Korean replied: PARK YU TOO!!
Man to wife: Business is bad, if u learn how to cook we can remove servant.
Wife: ASSHOLE! If u learn how to fuck, we can remove driver, gardener & watchman...
COCK say to his two BALLS: I am going to take you with me to a party.
BALLS said: You big fucking liar.
You always get INSIDE and leave us waiting OUTSIDE!
A baby dog asked mama dog how papa look like?
Mama dog reply: How I know. Your papa came from behind & I didn't have chance to see his face" !
What's the difference between stress, tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, PANIC is when both are pregnant!
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Fanatics or fighting for rights.....
Is Hindraf a bunch of fanatics? Maybe. I used to respect the Hindraf but after the Kampung Buah Pala incident, I just conclude that they are a bunch of fanatics and self centered inviduuals. Instead of understanding the nature of the problem, they chose a dispicable way to solve the problem. Looks like the gomen is right in banning the Hindraf.
Hindraf’s anti-DAP protest fizzles out
By Neville Spykerman
PETALING JAYA, June 30 – A planned protest by the Hindu Rights Action Force (Hindraf) at DAP’s headquarters here fizzled out after 10 minutes when police moved in to disperse the protestors.
The 15 Hindraf members who had gathered to demonstrate against the imminent demolition of the Kampung Buah Pala settlement in Penang were outnumbered by both journalists and police personnel.
Hindraf coordinator K.Selvam, who led the protest, said they wanted the DAP-led Penang Government to honour their election promises and save the home of the 200 Indian settlers.
Ipoh Barat MP M. Kulasegaran and Sungkai Assemblyman A. Sivanesan arrived shortly after most of the protesters had dispersed but had a showdown with police when they attempted to speak to the Hindraf members who were still on the scene.
Tempers flared as police instructed both the DAP elected representatives to disperse.
However, Sivanesan invited the Hindraf members and media into the party headquarters.
“The protesters were just airing their legitimate concerns and the DAP were ready to hear them out,” he said.
DAP stalwart Lim Kit Siang, who arrived later from Parliament said he had left instructions for all party leaders to meet the Hindraf supporters, who had also planned simultaneous protests at all DAP headquarters in all states.
He blamed the problem on the previous Penang Gerakan state government which had sold the 2.6 hectare land to a private developer, at RM10 a square foot.
Lim said the developer is planning to build 490 condominium units and had estimated the development value to be RM150 million, leaving the present state government to deal with the mess.
Hindraf’s anti-DAP protest fizzles out
By Neville Spykerman
PETALING JAYA, June 30 – A planned protest by the Hindu Rights Action Force (Hindraf) at DAP’s headquarters here fizzled out after 10 minutes when police moved in to disperse the protestors.
The 15 Hindraf members who had gathered to demonstrate against the imminent demolition of the Kampung Buah Pala settlement in Penang were outnumbered by both journalists and police personnel.
Hindraf coordinator K.Selvam, who led the protest, said they wanted the DAP-led Penang Government to honour their election promises and save the home of the 200 Indian settlers.
Ipoh Barat MP M. Kulasegaran and Sungkai Assemblyman A. Sivanesan arrived shortly after most of the protesters had dispersed but had a showdown with police when they attempted to speak to the Hindraf members who were still on the scene.
Tempers flared as police instructed both the DAP elected representatives to disperse.
However, Sivanesan invited the Hindraf members and media into the party headquarters.
“The protesters were just airing their legitimate concerns and the DAP were ready to hear them out,” he said.
DAP stalwart Lim Kit Siang, who arrived later from Parliament said he had left instructions for all party leaders to meet the Hindraf supporters, who had also planned simultaneous protests at all DAP headquarters in all states.
He blamed the problem on the previous Penang Gerakan state government which had sold the 2.6 hectare land to a private developer, at RM10 a square foot.
Lim said the developer is planning to build 490 condominium units and had estimated the development value to be RM150 million, leaving the present state government to deal with the mess.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Some thing juicy and different.....
Ha ha ha Sex sold in food court........ How do they do it? A blowjob on the table or sex on the chair????? Not exactlylah. The women are convassing for customers for sex in the food court area only.ha ha ha ha......Not opening a stall and providing sex.
Sex sold at food court
Compiled by BEH YUEN HUI, IZATUN SHARI and A. RAMAN
FOREIGN women have been using food courts in Jalan Gelang, off Jalan Loke Yew, in Kuala Lumpur to solicit for sex.
A Sin Chew Daily special investigative team discovered that the women also walk the streets to look for potential customers.
The women bring their customers to nearby flats to have sex.
Each “session” costs customers between RM100 and RM150, regardless of the woman’s age, the daily reported.
According to a resident at the flat, the women begin their “business” from noon to 6am every day.
Most of the women seen during the day were middle-aged while the young ones appeared at night.
The resident alleged that a group of men, believed to be plainclothes policemen, would raid the streets several times a month and round up the foreigners.
“But the women always return after a few days,” he said.
Sex sold at food court
Compiled by BEH YUEN HUI, IZATUN SHARI and A. RAMAN
FOREIGN women have been using food courts in Jalan Gelang, off Jalan Loke Yew, in Kuala Lumpur to solicit for sex.
A Sin Chew Daily special investigative team discovered that the women also walk the streets to look for potential customers.
The women bring their customers to nearby flats to have sex.
Each “session” costs customers between RM100 and RM150, regardless of the woman’s age, the daily reported.
According to a resident at the flat, the women begin their “business” from noon to 6am every day.
Most of the women seen during the day were middle-aged while the young ones appeared at night.
The resident alleged that a group of men, believed to be plainclothes policemen, would raid the streets several times a month and round up the foreigners.
“But the women always return after a few days,” he said.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Natural Cancer KILLER - 10,000 times stronger than Chemo and more.....
Natural Cancer KILLER - 10,000 times stronger than Chemo and more.....
How many people died in vain while this billion-dollar drug maker concealed the secret of the miraculous Graviola tree?
If there ever was a single example that makes it dramatically clear why the existence of Health Sciences Institute is so vital to Americans like you, it's the incredible story behind the Graviola tree.
The truth is stunningly simple: Deep within the Amazon Rainforest grows a tree that could literally revolutionize what you, your doctor, and the rest of the world thinks about cancer treatment and chances of survival. The future has never looked more promising.
Research shows that with extracts from this miraculous tree it now may be possible to...
- Attack cancer safely and effectively with an all-natural therapy that does not cause extreme nausea, weight loss and hair loss
- Protect your immune system and avoid deadly infections
- Feel stronger and healthier throughout the course of the treatment
- Boost your energy and improve your outlook on life
The source of this information is just as stunning:
It comes from one of America 's largest drug manufacturers, the fruit of over 20 laboratory tests conducted since the 1970's! What those tests revealed was nothing short of mind numbing... Extracts from the tree were shown to:
- Effectively target and kill malignant cells in 12 types of cancer, including colon, breast, prostate, lung and pancreatic cancer.
- The tree compounds proved to be up to 10,000 times stronger in slowing the growth of cancer cells than Adriamycin, a commonly used chemotherapeutic drug!
- What's more, unlike chemotherapy, the compound extracted from the Graviola tree selectively hunts down and kills only cancer cells. It does not harm healthy cells!
The amazing anti-cancer properties of the Graviola tree have been extensively researched--so why haven't you heard anything about it? If Graviola extract is as half as promising as it appears to be--why doesn't every single oncologist at every major hospital insist on using it on all his or her patients?
The spine-chilling answer illustrates just how easily our health--and for many, our very lives(!)--are controlled by money and power.
Graviola--the plant that worked too well
One of America 's biggest billion-dollar drug makers began a search for a cancer cure and their research centered on Graviola, a legendary healing tree from the Amazon Rainforest.
Various parts of the Graviola tree--including the bark, leaves, roots, fruit and fruit-seeds--have been used for centuries by medicine men and native Indians in South America to treat heart disease, asthma, liver problems and arthritis. Going on very little documented scientific evidence, the company poured money and resources into testing the tree's anti-cancerous properties--and were shocked by the results. Graviola proved itself to be a cancer-killing dynamo.
But that's where the Graviola story nearly ended.
The company had one huge problem with the Graviola tree--it's completely natural, and so, under federal law, not patentable. There's no way to make serious profits from it.
It turns out the drug company invested nearly seven years trying to synthesize two of the Graviola tree's most powerful anti-cancer ingredients. If they could isolate and produce man-made clones of what makes the Graviola so potent, they'd be able to patent it and make their money back. Alas, they hit a brick wall. The original simply could not be replicated. There was no way the company could protect its profits--or even make back the millions it poured into research.
As the dream of huge profits evaporated, their testing on Graviola came to a screeching halt. Even worse, the company shelved the entire project and chose not to publish the findings of its research!
Luckily, however, there was one scientist from the Graviola research team whose conscience wouldn't let him see such atrocity committed. Risking his career, he contacted a company that's dedicated to harvesting medical plants from the Amazon Rainforest and blew the whistle.
Miracle unleashed
When researchers at the Health Sciences Institute were alerted to the news of Graviola, they began tracking the research done on the cancer-killing tree. Evidence of the astounding effectiveness of Graviola--and its shocking cover-up--came in fast and furious...
...The National Cancer Institute performed the first scientific research in 1976.. The results showed that Graviola's "leaves and stems were found effective in attacking and destroying malignant cells." Inexplicably, the results were published in an internal report and never released to the public...
...Since 1976, Graviola has proven to be an immensely potent cancer killer in 20 independent laboratory tests, yet no double-blind clinical trials--the typical benchmark mainstream doctors and journals use to judge a treatment's value--were ever initiated...
...A study published in the Journal of Natural Products, following a recent study conducted at Catholic University of South Korea stated that one chemical in Graviola was found to selectively kill colon cancer cells at "10,000 times the potency of (the commonly used chemotherapy drug) Adriamycin..."
...The most significant part of the Catholic University of South Korea report is that Graviola was shown to selectively target the cancer cells, leaving healthy cells untouched. Unlike chemotherapy, which indiscriminately targets all actively reproducing cells (such as stomach and hair cells), causing the often devastating side effects of nausea and hair loss in cancer patients.
...A study at Purdue University recently found that leaves from the Graviola tree killed cancer cells among six human cell lines and were especially effective against prostate, pancreatic and lung cancers...
Seven years of silence broken--it's finally here!
A limited supply of Graviola extract, grown and harvested by indigenous people in Brazil , is finally available in America . The full Graviola story--including where you can get it and how to use it--is included in Beyond Chemotherapy: New Cancer Killers, Safe as Mother's Milk, a Health Sciences Institute FREE special bonus report on natural substances that will effectively revolutionize the fight against cancer. This crucial report (along with five more FREE reports) is yours ABSOLUTELY FREE with a new membership to the Health Sciences Institute. It's just one example of how absolutely vital each report from the Institute can be to your life and those of your loved ones.
From breakthrough cancer and heart research and revolutionary Amazon Rainforest herbology to world-leading anti-aging research and nutritional medicine, every monthly Health Sciences Institute Member's Alert puts in your hands today cures the rest of America --including your own doctor(!)--is likely to find out only ten years from now. You need the Health Sciences Institute in your life because you and your loved ones deserve to know--and you deserve to know it NOW!!
Why women in China do not get breast cancer
The article is too long, if you've no time to read all, just read the bottom 1/3.
Why women in China do not get breast cancer
Extracted from Your Life in Your Hands, by Professor Jane Plant.
I had no alternative but to die or to try to find a cure for myself. I am a scientist - surely there was a rational explanation for this cruel illness that affects one in 12 women in the UK ? I had suffered the loss of one breast, and undergone radiotherapy. I was now receiving painful chemotherapy, and had been seen by some of the country's most eminent specialists. But, deep down, I felt certain I was facing death. I had a loving husband, a beautiful home and two young children to care for. I desperately wanted to live. Fortunately, this desire drove me to unearth the facts, some of which were known only to a handful of scientists at the time. Anyone who has come into contact with breast cancer will know that certain risk factors - such as increasing age, early onset of womanhood, late onset of menopause and a family history of breast cancer - are completely out of our control. But there are many risk factors, which we can control easily. These 'controllable' risk factors readily translate into simple changes that we can all make in our day-to-day lives to help prevent or treat breast cancer. My message is that even advanced breast cancer can be overcome because I have done it. The first clue to understanding what was promoting my breast cancer came when my husband Peter, who was also a scientist, arrived back from working in China while I was being plugged in for a chemotherapy session. He had brought with him cards and letters, as well as some amazing herbal suppositories, sent by my friends and science colleagues in China . The suppositories were sent to me as a cure for breast cancer. Despite the awfulness of the situation, we both had a good belly laugh, and I remember saying that this was the treatment for breast cancer in China , then it was little wonder that Chinese women avoided getting the disease. Those words echoed in my mind..... Why didn't Chinese women in China get breast cancer? I had collaborated once with Chinese colleagues on a study of links between soil chemistry and disease, and I remembered some of the statistics. The disease was virtually non-existent throughout the whole country. Only one in 10,000 women in China will die from it, compared to that terrible figure of one in 12 in Britain and the even grimmer average of one in 10 across most Western countries. It is not just a matter of China being a more rural country, with less urban pollution. In highly urbanized Hong Kong , the rate rises to 34 women in every 10,000 but still puts the West to shame. The Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki have similar rates. And remember, both cities were attacked with nuclear weapons, so in addition to the usual pollution-related cancers, one would also expect to find some radiation-related cases, too. The conclusion we can draw from these statistics strikes you with some force. If a Western woman were to move to industrialized, irradiated Hiroshima , she would slash her risk of contracting breast cancer by half. Obviously, this is absurd. It seemed obvious to me that some lifestyle factor not related to pollution, urbanization or the environment is seriously increasing the Western woman's chance of contracting breast cancer. I then discovered that whatever causes the huge differences in breast cancer rates between oriental and Western countries, it isn't genetic. Scientific research showed that when Chinese or Japanese people move to the West, within one or two generations their rates of breast cancer approach those of their host community. The same thing happens when oriental people adopt a completely Western lifestyle in Hong Kong .. In fact, the slang name for breast cancer in China translates as 'Rich Woman's Disease'. This is because, in China , only the better off can afford to eat what is termed ' Hong Kong food'. The Chinese describe all Western food, including everything from ice cream and chocolate bars to spaghetti and feta cheese, as 'Hong Kong food', because of its availability in the former British colony and its scarcity, in the past, in mainland China . So it made perfect sense to me that whatever was causing my breast cancer and the shockingly high incidence in this country generally, it was almost certainly something to do with our better-off, middle-class, Western lifestyle. There is an important point for men here, too. I have observed in my research that much of the data about prostate cancer leads to similar conclusions. According to figures from the World Health Organization, the number of men contracting prostate cancer in rural China is negligible, only 0.5 men in every 100,000. In England , Scotland and Wales , however, this figure is 70 times higher. Like breast cancer, it is a middle-class disease that primarily attacks the wealthier and higher socio-economic groups ¨C those that can afford to eat rich foods. I remember saying to my husband, 'Come on Peter, you have just come back from China . What is it about the Chinese way of life that is so different?' Why don't they get breast cancer?' We decided to utilize our joint scientific backgrounds and approach it logically. We examined scientific data that pointed us in the general direction of fats in diets. Researchers had discovered in the 1980s that only l4% of calories in the average Chinese diet were from fat, compared to almost 36% in the West. But the diet I had been living on for years before I contracted breast cancer was very low in fat and high in fibre. Besides, I knew as a scientist that fat intake in adults has not been shown to increase risk for breast cancer in most investigations that have followed large groups of women for up to a dozen years. Then one day something rather special happened. Peter and I have worked together so closely over the years that I am not sure which one of us first said: 'The Chinese don't eat dairy produce!' It is hard to explain to a non-scientist the sudden mental and emotional 'buzz' you get when you know you have had an important insight. It's as if you have had a lot of pieces of a jigsaw in your mind, and suddenly, in a few seconds, they all fall into place and the whole picture is clear. Suddenly I recalled how many Chinese people were physically unable to tolerate milk, how the Chinese people I had worked with had always said that milk was only for babies, and how one of my close friends, who is of Chinese origin, always politely turned down the cheese course at dinner parties. I knew of no Chinese people who lived a traditional Chinese life who ever used cow or other dairy food to feed their babies. The tradition was to use a wet nurse but never, ever, dairy products. Culturally, the Chinese find our Western preoccupation with milk and milk products very strange. I remember entertaining a large delegation of Chinese scientists shortly after the ending of the Cultural Revolution in the 1980s.. On advice from the Foreign Office, we had asked the caterer to provide a pudding that contained a lot of ice cream. After inquiring what the pudding consisted of, all of the Chinese, including their interpreter, politely but firmly refused to eat it, and they could not be persuaded to change their minds. At the time we were all delighted and ate extra portions! Milk, I discovered, is one of the most common causes of food allergies. Over 70% of the world's population are unable to digest the milk sugar, lactose, which has led nutritionists to believe that this is the normal condition for adults, not some sort of deficiency. Perhaps nature is trying to tell us that we are eating the wrong food. Before I had breast cancer for the first time, I had eaten a lot of dairy produce, such as skimmed milk, low-fat cheese and yoghurt. I had used it as my main source of protein. I also ate cheap but lean minced beef, which I now realized was probably often ground-up dairy cow. In order to cope with the chemotherapy I received for my fifth case of cancer, I had been eating organic yoghurts as a way of helping my digestive tract to recover and repopulate my gut with 'good' bacteria. Recently, I discovered that way back in 1989 yoghurt had been implicated in ovarian cancer. Dr Daniel Cramer of Harvard University studied hundreds of women with ovarian cancer, and had them record in detail what they normally ate. Wish I'd been made aware of his findings when he had first discovered them. Following Peter's and my insight into the Chinese diet, I decided to give up not just yoghurt but all dairy produce immediately. Cheese, butter, milk and yoghurt and anything else that contained dairy produce - it went down the sink or in the rubbish. It is surprising how many products, including commercial soups, biscuits and cakes, contain some form of dairy produce. Even many proprietary brands of margarine marketed as soya, sunflower or olive oil spreads can contain dairy produce. I therefore became an avid reader of the small print on food labels. Up to this point, I had been steadfastly measuring the progress of my fifth cancerous lump with callipers and plotting the results. Despite all the encouraging comments and positive feedback from my doctors and nurses, my own precise observations told me the bitter truth. My first chemotherapy sessions had produced no effect - the lump was still the same size. Then I eliminated dairy products. Within days, the lump started to shrink ! About two weeks after my second chemotherapy session and one week after giving up dairy produce, the lump in my neck started to itch. Then it began to soften and to reduce in size. The line on the graph, which had shown no change, was now pointing downwards as the tumour got smaller and smaller. And, very significantly, I noted that instead of declining exponentially (a graceful curve) as cancer is meant to do, the tumour's decrease in size was plotted on a straight line heading off the bottom of the graph, indicating a cure, not suppression (or remission) of the tumour. One Saturday afternoon after about six weeks of excluding all dairy produce from my diet, I practised an hour of meditation then felt for what was left of the lump. I couldn't find it.. Yet I was very experienced at detecting cancerous lumps - I had discovered all five cancers on my own. I went downstairs and asked my husband to feel my neck. He could not find any trace of the lump either. On the following Thursday I was due to be seen by my cancer specialist at Charing Cross Hospital in London . He examined me thoroughly, especially my neck where the tumour had been. He was initially bemused and then delighted as he said, 'I cannot find it.' None of my doctors, it appeared, had expected someone with my type and stage of cancer (which had clearly spread to the lymph system) to survive, let alone be so hale and hearty. My specialist was as overjoyed as I was. When I first discussed my ideas with him he was understandably skeptical. But I understand that he now uses maps showing cancer portality in China in his lectures, and recommends a non-dairy diet to his cancer patients. I now believe that the link between dairy produce and breast cancer is similar to the link between smoking and lung cancer. I believe that identifying the link between breast cancer and dairy produce, and then developing a diet specifically targeted at maintaining the health of my breast and hormone system, cured me. It was difficult for me, as it may be for you, to accept that a substance as 'natural' as milk might have such ominous health implications. But I am a living proof that it works and, starting from tomorrow, I shall reveal the secrets of my revolutionary action plan. Extracted from Your Life in
Your Hands, by Professor Jane Plant.
Summary:-
1) Only one in 10,000 women in China will die from breast cancer.
2) The Chinese do not eat dairy produce!
3) Observation : Elimination of dairy products caused the cancerous lump to shrink within days
Why women in China do not get breast cancer
Extracted from Your Life in Your Hands, by Professor Jane Plant.
I had no alternative but to die or to try to find a cure for myself. I am a scientist - surely there was a rational explanation for this cruel illness that affects one in 12 women in the UK ? I had suffered the loss of one breast, and undergone radiotherapy. I was now receiving painful chemotherapy, and had been seen by some of the country's most eminent specialists. But, deep down, I felt certain I was facing death. I had a loving husband, a beautiful home and two young children to care for. I desperately wanted to live. Fortunately, this desire drove me to unearth the facts, some of which were known only to a handful of scientists at the time. Anyone who has come into contact with breast cancer will know that certain risk factors - such as increasing age, early onset of womanhood, late onset of menopause and a family history of breast cancer - are completely out of our control. But there are many risk factors, which we can control easily. These 'controllable' risk factors readily translate into simple changes that we can all make in our day-to-day lives to help prevent or treat breast cancer. My message is that even advanced breast cancer can be overcome because I have done it. The first clue to understanding what was promoting my breast cancer came when my husband Peter, who was also a scientist, arrived back from working in China while I was being plugged in for a chemotherapy session. He had brought with him cards and letters, as well as some amazing herbal suppositories, sent by my friends and science colleagues in China . The suppositories were sent to me as a cure for breast cancer. Despite the awfulness of the situation, we both had a good belly laugh, and I remember saying that this was the treatment for breast cancer in China , then it was little wonder that Chinese women avoided getting the disease. Those words echoed in my mind..... Why didn't Chinese women in China get breast cancer? I had collaborated once with Chinese colleagues on a study of links between soil chemistry and disease, and I remembered some of the statistics. The disease was virtually non-existent throughout the whole country. Only one in 10,000 women in China will die from it, compared to that terrible figure of one in 12 in Britain and the even grimmer average of one in 10 across most Western countries. It is not just a matter of China being a more rural country, with less urban pollution. In highly urbanized Hong Kong , the rate rises to 34 women in every 10,000 but still puts the West to shame. The Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki have similar rates. And remember, both cities were attacked with nuclear weapons, so in addition to the usual pollution-related cancers, one would also expect to find some radiation-related cases, too. The conclusion we can draw from these statistics strikes you with some force. If a Western woman were to move to industrialized, irradiated Hiroshima , she would slash her risk of contracting breast cancer by half. Obviously, this is absurd. It seemed obvious to me that some lifestyle factor not related to pollution, urbanization or the environment is seriously increasing the Western woman's chance of contracting breast cancer. I then discovered that whatever causes the huge differences in breast cancer rates between oriental and Western countries, it isn't genetic. Scientific research showed that when Chinese or Japanese people move to the West, within one or two generations their rates of breast cancer approach those of their host community. The same thing happens when oriental people adopt a completely Western lifestyle in Hong Kong .. In fact, the slang name for breast cancer in China translates as 'Rich Woman's Disease'. This is because, in China , only the better off can afford to eat what is termed ' Hong Kong food'. The Chinese describe all Western food, including everything from ice cream and chocolate bars to spaghetti and feta cheese, as 'Hong Kong food', because of its availability in the former British colony and its scarcity, in the past, in mainland China . So it made perfect sense to me that whatever was causing my breast cancer and the shockingly high incidence in this country generally, it was almost certainly something to do with our better-off, middle-class, Western lifestyle. There is an important point for men here, too. I have observed in my research that much of the data about prostate cancer leads to similar conclusions. According to figures from the World Health Organization, the number of men contracting prostate cancer in rural China is negligible, only 0.5 men in every 100,000. In England , Scotland and Wales , however, this figure is 70 times higher. Like breast cancer, it is a middle-class disease that primarily attacks the wealthier and higher socio-economic groups ¨C those that can afford to eat rich foods. I remember saying to my husband, 'Come on Peter, you have just come back from China . What is it about the Chinese way of life that is so different?' Why don't they get breast cancer?' We decided to utilize our joint scientific backgrounds and approach it logically. We examined scientific data that pointed us in the general direction of fats in diets. Researchers had discovered in the 1980s that only l4% of calories in the average Chinese diet were from fat, compared to almost 36% in the West. But the diet I had been living on for years before I contracted breast cancer was very low in fat and high in fibre. Besides, I knew as a scientist that fat intake in adults has not been shown to increase risk for breast cancer in most investigations that have followed large groups of women for up to a dozen years. Then one day something rather special happened. Peter and I have worked together so closely over the years that I am not sure which one of us first said: 'The Chinese don't eat dairy produce!' It is hard to explain to a non-scientist the sudden mental and emotional 'buzz' you get when you know you have had an important insight. It's as if you have had a lot of pieces of a jigsaw in your mind, and suddenly, in a few seconds, they all fall into place and the whole picture is clear. Suddenly I recalled how many Chinese people were physically unable to tolerate milk, how the Chinese people I had worked with had always said that milk was only for babies, and how one of my close friends, who is of Chinese origin, always politely turned down the cheese course at dinner parties. I knew of no Chinese people who lived a traditional Chinese life who ever used cow or other dairy food to feed their babies. The tradition was to use a wet nurse but never, ever, dairy products. Culturally, the Chinese find our Western preoccupation with milk and milk products very strange. I remember entertaining a large delegation of Chinese scientists shortly after the ending of the Cultural Revolution in the 1980s.. On advice from the Foreign Office, we had asked the caterer to provide a pudding that contained a lot of ice cream. After inquiring what the pudding consisted of, all of the Chinese, including their interpreter, politely but firmly refused to eat it, and they could not be persuaded to change their minds. At the time we were all delighted and ate extra portions! Milk, I discovered, is one of the most common causes of food allergies. Over 70% of the world's population are unable to digest the milk sugar, lactose, which has led nutritionists to believe that this is the normal condition for adults, not some sort of deficiency. Perhaps nature is trying to tell us that we are eating the wrong food. Before I had breast cancer for the first time, I had eaten a lot of dairy produce, such as skimmed milk, low-fat cheese and yoghurt. I had used it as my main source of protein. I also ate cheap but lean minced beef, which I now realized was probably often ground-up dairy cow. In order to cope with the chemotherapy I received for my fifth case of cancer, I had been eating organic yoghurts as a way of helping my digestive tract to recover and repopulate my gut with 'good' bacteria. Recently, I discovered that way back in 1989 yoghurt had been implicated in ovarian cancer. Dr Daniel Cramer of Harvard University studied hundreds of women with ovarian cancer, and had them record in detail what they normally ate. Wish I'd been made aware of his findings when he had first discovered them. Following Peter's and my insight into the Chinese diet, I decided to give up not just yoghurt but all dairy produce immediately. Cheese, butter, milk and yoghurt and anything else that contained dairy produce - it went down the sink or in the rubbish. It is surprising how many products, including commercial soups, biscuits and cakes, contain some form of dairy produce. Even many proprietary brands of margarine marketed as soya, sunflower or olive oil spreads can contain dairy produce. I therefore became an avid reader of the small print on food labels. Up to this point, I had been steadfastly measuring the progress of my fifth cancerous lump with callipers and plotting the results. Despite all the encouraging comments and positive feedback from my doctors and nurses, my own precise observations told me the bitter truth. My first chemotherapy sessions had produced no effect - the lump was still the same size. Then I eliminated dairy products. Within days, the lump started to shrink ! About two weeks after my second chemotherapy session and one week after giving up dairy produce, the lump in my neck started to itch. Then it began to soften and to reduce in size. The line on the graph, which had shown no change, was now pointing downwards as the tumour got smaller and smaller. And, very significantly, I noted that instead of declining exponentially (a graceful curve) as cancer is meant to do, the tumour's decrease in size was plotted on a straight line heading off the bottom of the graph, indicating a cure, not suppression (or remission) of the tumour. One Saturday afternoon after about six weeks of excluding all dairy produce from my diet, I practised an hour of meditation then felt for what was left of the lump. I couldn't find it.. Yet I was very experienced at detecting cancerous lumps - I had discovered all five cancers on my own. I went downstairs and asked my husband to feel my neck. He could not find any trace of the lump either. On the following Thursday I was due to be seen by my cancer specialist at Charing Cross Hospital in London . He examined me thoroughly, especially my neck where the tumour had been. He was initially bemused and then delighted as he said, 'I cannot find it.' None of my doctors, it appeared, had expected someone with my type and stage of cancer (which had clearly spread to the lymph system) to survive, let alone be so hale and hearty. My specialist was as overjoyed as I was. When I first discussed my ideas with him he was understandably skeptical. But I understand that he now uses maps showing cancer portality in China in his lectures, and recommends a non-dairy diet to his cancer patients. I now believe that the link between dairy produce and breast cancer is similar to the link between smoking and lung cancer. I believe that identifying the link between breast cancer and dairy produce, and then developing a diet specifically targeted at maintaining the health of my breast and hormone system, cured me. It was difficult for me, as it may be for you, to accept that a substance as 'natural' as milk might have such ominous health implications. But I am a living proof that it works and, starting from tomorrow, I shall reveal the secrets of my revolutionary action plan. Extracted from Your Life in
Your Hands, by Professor Jane Plant.
Summary:-
1) Only one in 10,000 women in China will die from breast cancer.
2) The Chinese do not eat dairy produce!
3) Observation : Elimination of dairy products caused the cancerous lump to shrink within days
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)