Jokes - Adults only

Jokes - Adults only


Question: Why is the "69" position also called the "smokers' position?"
Answer:Because while she is smoking the cigar, he is cleaning the ashtray.

Question: Why is sperm donation more expensive than blood donation?
Answer: Because it's HANDMADE!!

An old man married a young girl. On the wedding night he Showed five fingers to his wife.
Young girl : Ooh.. Darling! 5 times?
Old man : No dear, choose which one you prefer to start with.

Man 1 : My wife is obsessed with cars. While asleep, she holds my bird and says "1st gear, 2nd gear...".
Man 2 : My wife is worse, she puts my bird inside her and says "Full tank, please".

Question: What is the smallest hotel in the world?
Answer: It's Vagina Inn. Because it can only accommodate 1 standing occupant and 2 pieces of baggage outside!

2 prostitutes were in a taxi, on their way home after "work".
Bitch 1 : I smell sperm!
Bitch 2 : Sorry, I burped!!!

Man went to the chemist to buy 1/4 of a Viagra.
Chemist said " It would be useless."
Man said, "I am 90, sex is out of question, I just want to stop peeing on my shoes".

Reporter: Your secretary said publicly that you have a small penis, would you care to comment on this?
Man: "The truth is that she has a big mouth!"

What is the similarity between a swimming pool and a wife? For both, we pay high maintenance for the little time we spend in them.

Love is a complicated piece of machinery. Sometimes, all you need is a good screw to fix it.

What's the difference between biology and sociology? When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology. When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology.

Whoever first said that "A dog is man's best friend" has never seen a pussy before.

Dracula asked God, "May I be reincarnated as a white angel with wings and still suck blood?" God said, "Okay" and Poof! Dracula turned into a sanitary pad".