Failure is not when your girlfriend leaves you, it's only when you leave her a virgin.
Tension is when wife is pregnant!
Terror is when girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror is when both are pregnant!
Tragedy is when you are not responsible or both!
The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of sperm when?mating.
Only 10% enters the female.
And you always wondered why the sea tasted salty?
Why is it that a girl looks down when you say I love you? To see if you really mean it!
Why is sex similar to shaving? Well, because no matter how well you do it today, tomorrow you have to do it again.
Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does.
Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-olympic sex
Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life
Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.
The stock markets now are like an old man's dick
Just refusing to rise, and the irony is that everyone is still getting fucked!
This week is Breast Awareness Week. Spread the slogan "We stare because we care!"
The saddest part of a man's body is his balls. The Lord Almighty sentenced them to "Hang Till Death!"
A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs in. He sees a guy leaping out of the window.
Wife yells: That guy just screwed me twice!
Husband: Twice Why didn't you call me in after he screwed you once
Wife: Because I thought it was you, until he started the second time.
What is the difference between a chicken and a baby
Chicken is the result of a sitting hen while the baby is the result of standing cock.
If a bomb bursts in a bra , what would you get. Tit-Bits.
And if it bursts in a man's underwear Banana split.
What's the difference between a bomb & a condom
In a bomb blast, population decreases & if a condom blasts, population increases.